Winner, winner, YOU are the biggest lesbian ever

You know you’re a humongous lesbian when you get engaged to your lady friend. And you happen to be a lady, too.  Plus, foam trucker caps.

Congrats to Family Values Lesbian!  You, my friend, are the biggest lesbian ever and the winner of The Flannel Files’ latest contest!  You can read about FVL’s engagement and other adventures here.  Tell her Middle-age butch sent ya.

Thanks to everyone who participated.  If it makes you feel better, you’re all giant lesbians!  You can read the other entries in the comments section this post.

FVL, send me your mailing address, and I’ll send you out a copy of my book.  Or, e-mail you an e-book, if you prefer.  You can find my contact information on my homepage.

Biggest lesbian ever contest

Last weekend, I did, perhaps, the lez-iest thing ever.

I went to the vet with my lesbian wife and two of our cats.  Bodhi and Sammy.  We are a walking, talking stereotype.

We had brought them in for their annual exam.  They passed with flying colors.

However, we had to bring one of the cats back today.  He had a cut on his paw that had gotten infected.  I didn’t feel like a giant lesbian today.  It was just me, my lesbian wife and ONE cat.  Totally different.

Here’s Bodhi after his vet appointment.

They wrapped his paw in a pink leopard print bandage.  He doesn’t seem to mind.  He is not a very butch cat.

All this got me thinking.  What about you?  What have you done recently that left you feeling like the world’s biggest lesbian?  Organized a potluck after your softball game?  Went on a shopping spree and only purchased cargo shorts?

I’ll pick the best answer and send out a copy of my book as a prize.  Or if you already have the book, I’ll send you out some other butch swag.  A bow tie or beer opener or something butch.

So, what are you waiting for?  Leave a comment now!

Prepare for launch!

Mark your calendars, folks.

I have an official launch date for my book.

Leaving Normal: Living in the Middle of Boy/Girl comes out June 26.  That’s three short months from today.

So exciting!  So scary!

W and I have just started planning the book launch party.  We’re looking for a local LGBT charity to donate a portion of the profits to.  We considered adopting a softball team, but it would probably involve way too much paperwork.

As far as the book goes, I’m picking out cover art now.  I have it narrowed down to three covers.  I need to make a decision soon but keep changing my mind.  I just got back first edits, which I’m going to comb through this weekend.

It all seems so surreal.  I was updating my blog a few weeks ago and got to cross off “write a book and have it published” from my bucket list.  Such an awesome feeling.  I pounded my chest like Tarzan and actually high-fived myself like a big giant butch dork.

I’m looking ahead to marketing.  Making lists.  Sending out e-mails.  Thinking about press releases, guest blog posts, etc.  Three months will go by really fast.

So, here’s where you come in.  I need your best promotion ideas.  You know me.  Lovable butch with a fondness for flannel.  You know about my book.  A heartwarming tale about a lovable butch with a fondness for flannel.

Pitch me your best book promotion ideas.  Think outside the box.  Because isn’t what this book is all about.  Living outside the box.  Those M/F boxes.  And every other box related to gender.  Get inspired.  Get crazy.  Get butch.

I’ll even make it worth your while.  Best idea wins a free bow tie.

Your pick … posies or paisley.

So, get to thinking.  Can’t wait to read what you come up with!

Flannel panel convened; winner announced

Hope you all enjoyed The Flannel Files first ever flannel giveaway contest.

We had a lot of great entries, but one really stuck out like, well, a butch in a sundress.

You know you are butch when you know the Scottish clan name of all of your flannel shirts (and you are not Scottish).  Right now I am wearing Black Watch.

That came from Jamie Ray over at A Boy and Her Dog.  Not only is Jamie a flannel expert, but she has a really great blog, too.  Check out Jamie’s adventures as she transverses the border between butch and trans.

So, Jamie will be getting a special flannel delivery.  I’m feeling a little intimidated about selecting flannel for someone so knowledgeable.

Congrats to Jamie!  And a big thanks to everyone who participated.

 

Last call for flannel

I can’t be the only one who likes flannel.  And free things.

Just a reminder that you still have time to enter The Flannel Files “You know you’re a butch when …” contest.

You know you’re a butch when you enter contests to win free flannel apparel.

Note: You don’t have to be a butch to enter.

Prize is a brand new flannel shirt.  Sweet.

See the previous post for some other examples.

So, come on, folks.  Let’s hear your best one-liners.  Just leave them in the comment section.

Your favorite flannel lovin’ butch blogger will announce the winner sometime Monday.  That gives you all weekend to dream about winning a brand new flannel shirt.

Free flannel!

What’s that you say?  Free flannel?

Oh, Middle-age butch, don’t tease us like that.

Fear not, my flannel-lovin’ followers.  This is the real deal.  An honest to goodness contest that gives you a chance to win a fine flannel shirt.

I just hit 500 follows on The Flannel Files and thought I’d share some of the love that I’ve been receiving.

If free flannel makes you say “yes, please,” “more,” “pile it high and deep” or something like that, here’s what you need to do to do:

Comment on this post by answering the following statement:

You know you’re a butch when …

Here’s a few to get you started:

• You know you’re a butch when you do all of your shopping in the young men’s department even though you are not young or a man.
• You know you’re a butch when your instructions to the person who cuts your hair involves at least one number.  A number 4 on the sides.
• You know you’re a butch when you have different kinds of flannel — everyday flannel, good flannel, weekend flannel.

So, get creative and give us your top response.  I’ll pick the best one.  W will help.

You don’t have to be a butch to enter.  Everyone can use a little flannel in their lives.  Am I right?  Ain’t nothing hotter than a femme in flannel (and nothing else), but I might be a tad bit biased.  Or win a flannel shirt for your butch.  She’ll be forever grateful.  And you know what that means.

Winner will be notified by e-mail and details on size, etc. will be exchanged at that time.

May the flannel odds be forever in your favor.