Biggest lesbian ever contest

Last weekend, I did, perhaps, the lez-iest thing ever.

I went to the vet with my lesbian wife and two of our cats.  Bodhi and Sammy.  We are a walking, talking stereotype.

We had brought them in for their annual exam.  They passed with flying colors.

However, we had to bring one of the cats back today.  He had a cut on his paw that had gotten infected.  I didn’t feel like a giant lesbian today.  It was just me, my lesbian wife and ONE cat.  Totally different.

Here's Bodhi after his vet appointment.

Here’s Bodhi after his vet appointment.

They wrapped his paw in pink leopard print.

They wrapped his paw in a pink leopard print bandage.  He doesn’t seem to mind.  He is not a very butch cat.

All this got me thinking.  What about you?  What have you done recently that left you feeling like the world’s biggest lesbian?  Organized a potluck after your softball game?  Went on a shopping spree and only purchased cargo shorts?

I’ll pick the best answer and send out a copy of my book as a prize.  Or if you already have the book, I’ll send you out some other butch swag.  A bow tie or beer opener or something butch.

So, what are you waiting for?  Leave a comment now!

36 responses to “Biggest lesbian ever contest

  1. Is taking a family trip to the vets with your cats a lezza thing to do! Oh, well I’ve been very guilty of that on more than one occasion. But I just think that’s just pet love. I was gonna say pussy love, but I guess that’s a very lesbian thing to say 🙂
    If I am going out somewhere with my gf and we end up wearing the same kind of clothes; either same colour tops or bottoms, I will change, because a former gf of mine always told me it’s very lesbian to dress the same. I also have a straight friend who I go out with alot back home, and she is very girlie girlie – perfect makeup, bright red lips, nails, hair, pretty dresses, gorgeous heeled shoes and clutch bag. And no matter where we are out partying, straight or gay venue, I will always be in trousers, flat shoes/boots, and a top. It does make me laugh how we must look together, especially if there is a whole group of us and they are all girlie girlie in their dresses and killer heels and I am not. Blokes always assume that I must fancy her. I don’t. She is one of my best friends and that would be too weird for me. But at least when I take her to gay clubs, she is the one who stands out as the straight girl.

  2. The Little Butch That Could (TLBTC)

    Glad the kitties are good and healthy. 🙂
    Um, the butchest thing lately. . . we just got back from a four-day camping trip this past Monday. Took the ladies (my partner and a friend) on a wine tour to 5 different wineries on Sunday, without complaining or showing frustration/annoyance one time. And, I only got “sir’d” once, at a local diner in between wineries. That evening around the campfire I enjoyed my beer.

  3. J’s thesis was nominated for a swanky award so she spent the day working on that. Ball cap on backwards, polo shirt, cargo shorts, typing her little heart out. BTW—her thesis is called
    Queer Tastes: An Exploration of Food and Sexuality in Southern Lesbian Literature.
    I got so lucky! Not only is J a hot butch, she is brilliant. —B

  4. Let’s see…it’s been a busy, butchy couple of weeks.

    I loaned my micro screwdriver set to my grrlfriend. She’s a less handy butch than I am; I have All The Tools.

    I climbed under a woman’s car at a parking lot to figure out what was dragging underneath the chassis. And to temporarily affix it so she could get it to her car guy.

    I braved the cosmetics section of CVS Pharmacy and bought my little femme a half dozen colors of nail polish for her upcoming 9th birthday. Thank god for four years of color theory in art school.

    I also let her paint my fingernails yesterday. And give me a mini manicure. My sparkly pink nails look interesting with my flannel shirt, jeans, and Doc Martens this morning. Only for her would I do this.

    I fixed the string trimmer. The snowblower is next on my list.

    And, the piece de resistance, I put my hand and arm down a sheep’s throat to grab some healthy cud to feed to another sheep who was off her feed, thus restoring her cud flora. This involved catching and taking down a skittish, extremely strong 200 pound wether, alone. He did not want to be caught.

  5. It has to be our road trip! 😀

  6. i got engaged to a spectacular woman. Very Lez, no?

    Went to Drive By Truckers concert last night. Bought each other Drive By Truckers trucker’s cap. Pretty butch for a couple of femmes, no?

    • Two women getting engaged is very lesbian. Might be the very definition of lesbian. (And congrats on your engagement!)

      Extra points for trucker caps in all their foam front and mesh side glory.

  7. Repaired the hinges on a cabinet, replaced a showerhead, and built the walls for a shed. I wasn’t wearing boots the whole time, though, so it may not count. I did drive the truck in for supplies, though. So, there’s that.

  8. Hope Bodhi’s paw heals soon, despite the pink bandage. He is probably chuffed with the leopard print! Pooch embarrasses us hugely at the vet, as she tells every animal in sight that she owns the surgery and the vets work for her and how DARE they put a paw in her rooms! I stopped the rush hour traffic last week to save about 8 goslings from a certain death. Mom decided to cross the traffic, goslings followed, mom got scared and turned back, goslings followed and could not get up the sidewalk. I had to stop and hold up the traffic while I helped them back onto the sidewalk (luckily had help from a pedestrian, as those goslings were greased lightning!).

  9. I made love to her… and she made me feel like the smartest, strongest, and the most lovable person in the world 😉

  10. I got a new haircut that required clippers over a large portion of my head. I saw my mother the next day and when I finally asked what she thought, her silence was a big clue, she said, “well…. It’s very, (and she spelled it) d.i.k.e.y.”

    I laughed and replied, “truth in advertising mom…”

    I smiled and ate my dinner while she told me a few ways I could soften my look to be more feminine.

  11. Pingback: Winner, winner, YOU are the biggest lesbian ever | The Flannel Files

  12. This was a few years back, but for once my birthday was on a weekend my girlfriend and I went all out. We woke up, went hiking, came back showered ate at a BBQ place then went to an NBA game. After the game we caught a concert at a dive bar. The band was Uh Huh Her… Leisha Hailey’s band (Alice from the L Word). Probably my gayest day ever. 🙂

  13. Pingback: Biggest Lesbian? | Family Values Lesbian

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