About this butch

18058224_1316436845100254_4713221514653035423_nRae Theodore works as an editor for one of the world’s largest communications firms. When she’s not working, she writes about her life as a butch lesbian and her thirty-year crush on Olivia Newton-John. As a young tomboy, Rae rarely identified with the characters in the books she read, and this has motivated her to tell her story.

Rae’s stories and poems have appeared in numerous publications, including Our Happy Hours: LGBT Voices from the Gay Bars, Sister Wisdom and Gender Queer: Stories from the Rest of Us. Her first book, Leaving Normal: Adventures in Gender, was shortlisted for an award in creative nonfiction by the Golden Crown Literary Society.

Rae’s favorite day of the week is Tuesday because that’s when her writing group meets. In addition to Olivia Newton-John, she is obsessed with Wonder Woman, professional wrestling and the mullet she sported circa 1986.

Rae is the current president of the Greater Philadelphia Chapter of the Women’s National Book Association. She lives in Royersford, Pennsylvania, with her wife, children and cats and is working on a book about love.

93 responses to “About this butch

  1. About the flannels and cargo pants… my dear little friend, Phillip, the gay Canadian Jew once pointed at my flannel shirt and birkenstocks and said, “So do lesbians prefer the term fashion victim or ensemble challenged?”

  2. Dear god, why have I not found you before this? I was married for 11 years, came out in my 30’s, and I’ve got two girls. I’m still in my 30’s – I just came out a year ago. I could use someone to talk with – or at least read – who’s managed all this and come out the other side.

    • Thanks for reading. I’m rather new here, so that might be why you just found me. Also, my stuff never shows up in the Reader under “lesbian.” Still trying to figure all of that out. Anyway, yeah, late bloomer with kids. Working on happily ever after. It does get better, just like those TV spots say. Hang in there.

  3. You know I gotta like you! Cats, the fact that you follow my blog, the fact that our blogs almost rhyme LOL. Nice to meet you! 🙂

  4. I love your courage and honesty. It’s very refreshing. Thanks for the follow!!!! All the best to you and your family!!!!

  5. I’ve nominated you for the So Sweet Award. You have three cats, and three teenagers. I have four cats and three teenagers. I/you/we deserve it LOL! http://thefurfiles.wordpress.com/2012/10/02/ill-take-you-to-the-candy-shop/

    • Thanks so much! It must be awards season. Yes, three cats and three kids. One puked in the dining room this a.m. and one broke my vacuum so I’m not happy with any of them right now.

  6. Hi there, I’ve nominated you for a Beautiful Blogger Award. You can choose to participate or not. It’s up to you. To read more about it, you can go to my post: http://tfaswift.wordpress.com/2012/10/13/beautiful-blogger-award/ and find directions, as well as a list of other bloggers I’ve nominated.

  7. Hey thanks for liking one of my posts! i wish i could also spend everyday and the rest of my life with the girl i love, just like you. as it happens, i still can’t get out of the closet and it drives my girlfriend nuts because she wants us to move in already. sigh…

  8. I like the honest element in the information about you. As for the coming out-I came out officially last year(which means 16 years old) but I am happy that you aren’t in the closet. 🙂

    • I think it’s great that you came out at such a young age. And, I’m glad that I’m not still in the closet. Thanks for reading.

      • You are welcome and I guess it is since I have known my bisexuality since I was 13 but it took me like 2 years to accept myself. Now I barely care what others think-I love who i love and that’s all that matters. 🙂
        As for the teenage boys-boys are easy to be looked after-I have grown up around boys all my life and even taken care during the summer. But of course, that’s my opinion at least.

      • Yep, that’s what we’ve heard about boys. We’re just waiting for them to start showering and applying deodorant without being told.

      • Hopefully they would soon figure that out themselves 🙂

  9. I love your sense of humor. Good luck with your book.

  10. Looking forward to reading your blog. Only read the fish sandwich story so far and your “about me” and “current obsessions”. I see you’re raising three teen boys! Ha ha hah hahahahaha! OMG. I have two teen boys and a teen girl. Ca ca ca CRAZY! Nice to meetcha.

  11. I got my website up now, my blogs are at: http://www.rantingsam.com Our styles are very similar..

  12. I found your blog via Freshly Pressed, and I am freshly IMpressed. Keep up the great writing!

  13. middleage butch ..love your handle love you blog and thanks for checking me out..i am new can you tell ?? lol..really like the comments you have inspired..so exciting for us to find ourselves in these pages..and what a relief !!!

  14. Two things!

    I nominated you for a Liebster Award and said nice things about you. You can check it out here, if you like: http://javaj240.wordpress.com/2012/11/21/thank-you-fat-lies-and-fairytales-the-liebster-award/

    I finally watched “The Departed”. It was good. LOL.

  15. I nominated you for the Liebster Award because I really enjoy your work. You can see it here: http://weirdstuffhappenstome.wordpress.com/2012/11/20/a-really-cool-birthday-present/#more-916


  16. Oh Thank God! You hate the Yankees…

  17. As others have commented, I love your honesty! I hope to have a partner and kids some day as well, you are an inspiration. (:

    • Whoa, you might want to read more of my posts — like the one in which I talk about my pretend cat and another where I name Little Debbie of snack cake fame as my new therapist — before you start using the “i” word. But thank you for the kind words, Thomas.

  18. If you so choose, awards await.
    Otherwise, just know you’re great!


  19. Hello from halfway across the world. Loving your blog.


  20. Ooooo… you’re way ahead of me 🙂 Came out at 49. Love your list, though suspect you haven’t had the right gin.

    • Maybe not. Maybe it’s both the quantity and quality of the gin that I have consumed. I can remember drinking gin straight from a little ceramic cow-shaped vessel intended for milk or cream when I was in college. I got violently ill and never drank gin again.

  21. I will trade you my three girls (I’m keeping my boy) for your three boys….They aren’t teenagers yet. But OH MY GOOOD they are little divas. I can’t even imagine teenage years!!! 😀 lol. Your blog is a fantastic read!

    Thanks for stopping by mine 🙂 ❤

  22. I nominated you for an award, my friend. Feel free to do a celebratory dance in your living room. Or something. http://mrsfever.wordpress.com/2013/02/11/hunh-whattaya-know/

  23. I love gin. Besides that we are in perfect agreement…welcome to my table. You’re on my blog list meow.

  24. By all means, visit Seattle – you and W CAN get legally hitched in the great Evergreen State!

  25. Lipstick Terrorist

    Hey middleagebutch! Because I think your blog is great I have nominated it for a WordPress Family Award (more community than nuclear). Check it out here! http://lipstickterrorist.wordpress.com/2013/05/07/ive-got-an-award/

  26. Morning middleagebutch,

    Your gravitar appeared in the “You May Like” column of my WordPress control panel the other day and, lo and behold, they were right!

    I’ve been enjoying a number of your posts this morning — great voice and style (Stephen King would approve!) — and I just wanted to let you know I’m about to take the plunge and begin “Following.”

    Also enjoyed your “About” list at the top of the page, though I gotta say, I think you have the placement of Reality TV and Mountain Dew mixed up (LOL)! I also have to admit that your “Stereotypes that I perpetuate” entry left me wondering what, if anything, might be on the opposite list: “Stereotypes that I DON’T perpetuate.” Hmm…

    Keep up the good work. I look forward to reading more of your work as it comes pouring in (pouring out?).

  27. I love your list of stereotypes perpetuated. That is fun! A life-long femme, it has taken me a long time to come to terms with the fact that I will never look good in cargo pants or baseball caps. I wish I could wear a baseball and look stylish. How do butches do it? I just look like a tourist trying to keep the sun out of my eyes. Ah well, I guess we all have to learn to be ourselves : ) Thanks for following my blog. I am excited about following yours. It looks terrific.

  28. This blog is awesome, love this about page and Im looking forward to the upcoming posts. I’ve been at this blogging thing a whopping 4 days.

  29. Tag! You’re it! I’ve chosen you for The Versatile Blogger Award! Follow this link back to my post to find out more … http://puckerupbuttercup.wordpress.com/2013/09/09/let-me-entertain-you/

  30. I nominated you for a Liebster Award! Check it out! http://honeyimalesbian.wordpress.com/

  31. So um… Hi there.

    I’ve been traipsing about your site for a bit, looking for your contact info, but have been unable to find it. (My mother used to say, “If it was a snake, it woulda bit ya!”, so please bear that in mind if you’ve posted it someplace obvious.) Since I’ve not yet hit upon it, I thought I’d just ask *you* to contact *me* (ever the problem-solver, am I) if/when you are interested/able: mrs.fever@yahoo.com.

    I am putting together a shared writing project type thing and would much appreciate your thoughts. 🙂

  32. Just letting you know I’ve nominated you for the versatile bloggers award. I love reading your blog. http://adventuresparttimevegetarian.wordpress.com/2013/11/13/nomination-for-versatile-blogger-award/

  33. lovely description! I must say, the Dr. Marten’s boots thing is kinda true. I’ve got a pair too and I adore them. the weird thing is, even if I’m really not the girly kind, my boots are among the only 3 pink things I own. a very pale pink tho’

    • Dr. Marten’s rock! Mine aren’t pink. I have four pair — low brown ones, low black ones, eight eyelet lace-up brown boots and black and white wing tips that I wore at my commitment ceremony. I wear the boots when I’m feeling like a stud.

  34. I think I’ve read under 50 words and I already like your blog. Cat lover with 3 cats (and cool names), against the Yankees… and obviously some interesting things to say :).

  35. Only followed because of your dislikes for the Yankees! … Just kidding, nice blog. 🙂

  36. Femme Fairy Godmother

    Okay, this is a weird question and I apologize profusely in advance if I should know this answer, but …. do I know you outside of the blog? Are we Facebook friends? Twitter friends? I have been unengaged in blogging for a while and I’m old now, so my memory isn’t what it used to be.

    • I don’t think so. I’m not on Facebook. And I have a very limited presence on Twitter. And you’re in Florida, and I’m in Pennsylvania.

      Don’t sweat it. At 47, my memory isn’t what it used to be either.

  37. Oooh, need to update your status here. Wasn’t there a wedding just a short while ago?

  38. I love your sense of humor as well as your sense of purpose. I stumbled upon your blog this morning and look forward to checking it our further.
    (keep doing you: maybe someday soon the world will come on board and become a better place)

  39. Pingback: Leaving Normal: An Interview | Temperature's Rising

  40. Love this. I was also married to a man (8 years) and came out in my 30’s. Oh and there’s the life long love of Doc Martens…. I should have figured when I wanted to wear them in my wedding to the man… hah.

  41. Pingback: Leaving Normal: An Interview - Temperature's Rising

  42. Pingback: Femme Friday – Dorothy Allison | The Total Femme

  43. Flannel is amazing!! Now you just need a toque and long johns! Seriously though, hope everything is better.

  44. Rae, thank you very much for your blog, and for your existence! As a young femme I enjoy reading your blog and I learn a lot from you. Also, bonus points go to you for liking Olivia Newton John ahaha, I have had country roads on repeat for the past few days and the version of the song performed by her is the only one I enjoy listening!! BEST WISHES for you and your family💖

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