She said ‘yes’

We went to W’s family reunion today.

It’s pretty much the same every year — picnic food like hot dogs, potato salad and chips; dollar store prizes; a family picture; catching up with everyone.

But this year I added a twist.

I asked W to marry me.

We had a commitment ceremony almost three years ago. I had proposed back then on one knee with a diamond engagement ring in my hand and rose petals in the background. Like any good butch should.

We had a shindig, sent out invitations, hired a band and a caterer, exchanged vows, smashed cake on each other’s faces.

It was the best we could do in 2011.

And then same-sex marriage became an option in our home state of Pennsylvania last month.

The m word scares the hell out of me.  (We’re not talkin’ menopause or mudflap girls.  Especially not mudflap girls.)


Half-eaten cupcake with capsule and special request.

Today, at the family reunion, I brought two dozen gourmet cupcakes. I had a special cupcake for W. Inside was a little plastic capsule with a special request. Marry me?

She said yes.

I was nervous this morning. My son said if anyone else accidentally got the special cupcake, I would have to marry him/her. So there was that.

And I was worried about pulling the whole thing off. What if W didn’t want a cupcake? Or wanted another flavor? What if the cupcake melted in the hot car? What if she said no?

But now? I’m not so nervous.

It feels right.  It feels good.

Sure, I’m still scared.  No one can see the future.  What can be scarier than that?  But I’m willing to take the leap with W.

I told W today that I would make an honest woman out of her yet.

What I’ve realized writing this post is she’s the one making an honest woman out of me.

28 responses to “She said ‘yes’

  1. Congrats to the both of you! May it last forever in love and harmony!

  2. Wishing you both much continued health and happiness together.

  3. Congrats! The best to both of you!

  4. Congratulations! Eventually we get things right…

  5. Mazel Tov !!!!!! … Yaaaaaaaay! **waves arms like Kermit** … couldn’t happen to a more deserving butch!

    AS for it not working out those previous times? Nothing is guaranteed, but that has never stopped anyone from doing what they truly wanted to!

    Congratulations, you Bold Butch, you!

    • Aw, thanks. I hope I’ve learned something from those previous relationships (mostly what I want in a relationship.)

      You’re right, I am a bold butch. But then aren’t we all?

  6. Congratulations!!! Such a wonderful HEA (Happily Ever After) for you both. 🙂 I was wondering when you were going to pop the question now that PA finally got its act together. Hooray! Hooray!

  7. butchcountry67

    Congratulations to the both of you, may your lives be filled with happiness, love, laughter and good health

  8. Congrats! May you have many happy years together. And I love the cupcake idea. Bravo!

  9. Awwwww… YAY! 🙂

  10. urbanmythcafe

    I always figured that we would be the very last to get marriage equality. I was way surprised when it happened, and then double surprised when our governor decided to be reasonable about it.
    Way creative with the cupcake!

  11. Just adding my Congrats! from South Africa to the chorus. Be happy!

  12. From this lady (whose name also begins with W) to you and yours, I wish you a lifetime of happiness together. Congratulations!! 🙂

  13. Congratulations to you both! That was a very clever way of proposing! Glad it worked out the way you planned it to. 🙂

    • Thanks! There was plenty of room for error, but everything went off without a hitch. I like planning little surprises for my partner. Guess I’m just an old softie at heart.

  14. Femme Fairy Godmother


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