A Christmas miracle flannel style

‘Twas perhaps the merriest Christmas of all for Flannel Santa had run out on Christmas Eve to buy a few extra gifts for the kiddos.

You see, Flannel Santa had been struck by the Christmas Spirit and had extra cash to burn.

Of course, Flannel Santa bought new flannel shirts for the lads.

A belt and hat for one, a leather wallet for another.

And 12 packs of Dr. Pepper and Mountain Dew for all.

On Christmas Day, the youth wore their shiny new flannel shirts.

So, soft and warm! they exclaimed.

And Flannel Santa beamed with pride.

The day couldn’t get any better.

I’ve got one hand in my pocket … because my flannel shirt has pockets!!

But then Flannel Santa reached into the sack-o-Santa stuff and pulled out one last gift. One last flannel shirt.

The shirt was red and black checked. Perfect for Christmas Day.

Thick and warm and as soft as Sofia Vergara’s hair.

The shirt fit Flannel Santa like a glove (except it was a shirt).

And Flannel Santa smiled.

But ho, ho, ho, what was this?

Pockets? In a flannel shirt?

Pockets!

Pockets!

Pockets!

It was a Christmas miracle—a flannel shirt with pockets. Which made this the merriest Christmas of all!

* * *

Here’s hoping your Christmas was filled with surprises. And perhaps a new flannel shirt with or without pockets, if that’s your jam.

The Flannel Underground

This could be my closet

At dinner last week, one of the kids asks me if I have more flannel shirts like the one I had given him to wear in his school’s production of Annie Get Your Gun last year.

“I don’t know. Why?” I ask.

“It’s for a friend,” he says, “whose parents think flannel shirts are too masculine.”

“Is she a lesbian?” I ask.

“Trans,” he says.

“A transguy?”

“Yes.”

I pause.

“I don’t know,” I say. “If his parents don’t want him wearing flannel shirts …”

I pause again.

“Look, I don’t agree with it, but he’s not my kid,” I say. “I can’t be some underground supplier of flannel for your friends.”

He nods his head.

Underground supplier of flannel, I say to myself. I sit a little taller in my chair.

“I’ll take a look at my flannel shirts in the next week or so,” I say. “I probably have some I don’t want. I’ll give them to you. They’ll be your flannel shirts. Whatever you do with them, that’s your business. I certainly can’t be responsible for what you do with your clothing.”

“Got it?” I ask.

“Got it,” he says.

I feel a little bit like a hero. Passing on my used flannel shirts to kids who need them the most.

For armor.

Or camouflage.

Comfort.

A second skin.

The intersecting horizontal and vertical stripes forming hundreds of tiny crosses as they cover a new body.

 

Free flannel!

What’s that you say?  Free flannel?

Oh, Middle-age butch, don’t tease us like that.

Fear not, my flannel-lovin’ followers.  This is the real deal.  An honest to goodness contest that gives you a chance to win a fine flannel shirt.

I just hit 500 follows on The Flannel Files and thought I’d share some of the love that I’ve been receiving.

If free flannel makes you say “yes, please,” “more,” “pile it high and deep” or something like that, here’s what you need to do to do:

Comment on this post by answering the following statement:

You know you’re a butch when …

Here’s a few to get you started:

• You know you’re a butch when you do all of your shopping in the young men’s department even though you are not young or a man.
• You know you’re a butch when your instructions to the person who cuts your hair involves at least one number.  A number 4 on the sides.
• You know you’re a butch when you have different kinds of flannel — everyday flannel, good flannel, weekend flannel.

So, get creative and give us your top response.  I’ll pick the best one.  W will help.

You don’t have to be a butch to enter.  Everyone can use a little flannel in their lives.  Am I right?  Ain’t nothing hotter than a femme in flannel (and nothing else), but I might be a tad bit biased.  Or win a flannel shirt for your butch.  She’ll be forever grateful.  And you know what that means.

Winner will be notified by e-mail and details on size, etc. will be exchanged at that time.

May the flannel odds be forever in your favor.