Last night, W tells me it’s the ten-year anniversary of our first date.
I tell her how surreal it all seems.
When I look ahead to the next ten years, I picture my life with W by my side.
But when I go back in time to when we were first dating, it’s weird to think we ended up together.
When we talk about that first date, we always say we didn’t have any expectations, that we weren’t looking for anything serious.
That’s a lie. Everyone is always hoping for the best. For a love connection. For something as serious as a heart attack, but maybe not so life threatening. Serious like a foreign film or that season of the L Word when Dana gets cancer and dies.
Plus, we’re lesbians, which means, technically, we were only two dates removed from renting a U-Haul and moving in together. Talk about serious.
When I look back on that first date, I remember:
W insisting we split the bill at the pizza place where we ordered a couple of cheesesteaks, even though I would have been a chivalrous butch and picked up the tab.
W wearing jeans and a white ribbed tank underneath a black sweater. Her curves like a right hook.
After dinner, we walked to a pub and had beers.
Then we walked back toward the pizzeria and found a bench off the main street.
We talked for a while.
When it started to get late, W told me she didn’t want the night to end.
She hugged me long and hard as if she was trying to hold on to the night like that.
After a decade, parts of that September evening are fading from my memory.
I don’t remember what I wore or the words printed on W’s ribbed tank.
But I still remember the way her patchouli perfume smelled sweet and spicy.
The scratch of her sweater on the side of my cheek that reminded me I was alive.
The way her hair shined under the street lights.
How she felt solid in my arms.
I didn’t want the night to end either.
I didn’t tell her that.
I was too busy trying to remember all of the little things about her because I wasn’t sure how long it would be until our next date.
* * *
What do you remember about your first date?