The starting is the hardest part

I didn’t want to get up this morning. I mean, I had gotten up yesterday morning. Two days in a row seemed like a lot. Like I would be pushing myself too hard.

From my supine position, I balled my hand into a fist and raised it in the air like the angry lesbian I can sometimes be.

Why does my life have to be so hard? I cried. Life is so unfair!

It was like I was at a Melissa Etheridge concert with my raised fist and hot words. Somebody bring me some water!  My mind’s a burnin’ hell! Except I was lying in bed in my comfiest flannel lounge pants and a thermal shirt.

And then I got a shower. And put on clothes. And grabbed a quick breakfast.

I went to my writers group.

It felt good to participate in life.

Sometimes I have to force myself to get out of bed. To go through the motions. To put one foot in front of the other. To have faith that everything is going to be ok. Today was one of those days.

My default is to stay in bed buried under the covers. It’s like a giant womb in there but much drier.

If I’m ever missing, you’ll know that’s where I am.

I had this mousepad made a week or so ago. I try to remember this right before I start writing or before I have to do something else that feels scary.

* * *

What about you? How do you get up when you’re feeling down?

10 responses to “The starting is the hardest part

  1. We had that exact quote on our whiteboard in the kitchen for well over a year. My husband had put it there for our older son who deals with anxiety and other issues. It only got erased recently because our youngest son complained about it. I think I need to put it back or get it on something for my desk because I also need the reminder before I write or do a new project for someone.

    As for how I get up when feeling down…I allow myself to wallow in it for a bit. In some weird way, it feels good, but only for a bit. After that, I try to find a crafty project to work on or read a book. If that doesn’t work, I bring out the big guns…dark chocolate. Chocolate cures what ails ya. Unless you’re allergic to chocolate.

    • It’s a great quote. Once you get going, things are never as scary as you had imagined them to be.

      I wallow, too. Give myself a day or two. Lots of bed rest and mindless TV. That usually does it. If not, I pull myself up by the bootstraps.

      Don’t know that chocolate would work for me. Maybe a plate of nachos.

  2. And just so you know…I’m glad you got out of bed today. 🙂

  3. Henceforth, when I am in a stay-in-bed mood, I’m going to shout, “I’ll be in my giant dry womb! Disturb me at your own peril!”

    So thanks for that. 😀

    Really, when I don’t want to move… Mostly I remind myself that the cat needs food. And cat food don’t grow on trees. So I get my butt up, and get to work. 🙂

  4. This was exactly what I needed this morning. Because as I read your post I was doing the angry lesbian, fist in the air thing.

  5. It varies …
    Lots of swearing!
    “You’re 57 years old, get over it!”
    Asking Mrs Widds to make me a cuppa in bed and having cuddles.
    Bargaining – if I do everything today, I can stay in bed tomorrow.
    Etc, etc … 😀

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