I’m still here


Philly Pride flag

I started thinking that I didn’t have anything to say.

Or at least that no one needed to hear what I had to say.

I heard the whispers of old ghosts telling me that my story isn’t relevant.

So, I was quiet. I worked. I listened. I planted flowers and a cherry tomato plant and rescued a jalapeño seedling that the cat had mostly eaten except for the stalk.

I read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. I read the the new Ivan Coyote book and lots of poetry, especially poems penned by young Black men.

We’re flying a Philly pride flag for pride this year. It’s the first time that we’ve flown a big rainbow flag at our house. Every time I see those bright colors rippling against the blue of the sky, I swell up a little inside.   

I’ve remembered that those of us who wear the label “other” have a duty to speak our truth.

I don’t have to shout

But I have to say


I’m here

I’m still here

And this is how it is for me

* * *

Happy Pride!

6 responses to “I’m still here

  1. HAPPY PRIDE, RAE! I love to hear what you have to say 🙂

  2. Thanks for being there! From here in Australia 🌈❤️🌈

  3. Yay! Well done! Pride is inspiring and important! You’ve set my day off to a good start!

  4. Love this. Also, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance is my favorite book. Good to see you here again.

  5. pickingdandelions

    The ghosts that visit you, have apparently also been lurking around my brain…and, indirectly, my self-esteem and identity as a writer. I am a writer- I had a blog created by a designer- I had a photo shoot for said blog, which took every ounce of courage I’ve ever been able to muster…and, while I compose phenomenal posts in my mind, every single day, I’ve yet to get any of them onto my blog…

    Thank you for this piece. I get you…and it.


    • Thanks, Judy. It always helps to hear that I’m not alone. I’ve yet to sit for a formal headshot (even though I’ve needed one for years), so kudos to you for having the courage to do that. Here’s hoping that you can start posting soon and banish those ghosts from your writing life.

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