Tag Archives: New York City

It’s your boi R-Bango

download.jpgA few weeks ago, W and I spent the weekend in the Big Apple with friends.

On Saturday afternoon, we enjoyed slices of New York pizza, visited a used bookstore and saw Network on Broadway starring Bryan Cranston and the lovely Tatiana Maslany.

In the evening, we caught a burlesque show at a place called The Slipper Room in the lower east side. It was hot and crowded and almost impossible to get a drink, but as W said many, many, many times, “Naked girls are always good.”

On Sunday, we had a late breakfast and then walked through Times Square on our way back to our hotel.

And that’s when things got a little bit dicey, and I became involved in an urban street grift.

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It’s tricky to walk around New York City It’s tricky, it’s tricky

A couple of young people in Adidas tracksuits–think Run DMC but younger and without the gold chains–were handing out something to folks passing by.

Initially, I waved them off and said, “No thanks.” But they were persistent.

“It’s free,” they said. “Free, free, free.”

Everyone knows this butch loves a bargain, but even I know better than to accept items from strangers on the street.

“It’s music promoting racial equality and gun control,” they explained. “And it’s free.”

At this point, I had become separated from W and our friends and was just looking to make a quick exit.

I didn’t want them to think I wasn’t for racial equality and gun control and world peace and voter rights, so I accepted a CD and square of laminated paper that contained a qr code for a music download and started to walk away.

“Don’t you want me to sign it?” one of the young men asked.

I really didn’t, but I didn’t want to hurt his feelings.

“Sure,” I said, handing him back the CD.

“What’s your name?”

“Rae,” I said.

“You mind if I call you R-Bango?”

“Sure, that works for me,” I said, trying to be all cool and stuff.

“I’m gonna make it out to R-Bango with the pretty eyes.”

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Me ready to move to NYC in stereotypical lesbian fashion.

This guy was as smooth as freshly pressed flannel, and he had me in the palm of his hand. I now had a cool big city nickname and was getting noticed for my best feature, my green eyes. If this is what city life is all about, R-Bango was ready to relocate.

And then he asked for a donation.

R-Bango reached into the front pocket of her jeans and pulled out some folded-up one dollar bills.

“Oh, we try to stay away from the ones, R-Bango. By the way, you should give your barber a big tip.”

This guy knew that the way to a butch’s heart is by complimenting her fresh high and tight. R-Bango reached into her back pocket and extracted her wallet. She handed over a $20. She was on vacation after all.

And then the next person in the group held out his hand. “Aw, hey, what about me? I’m the producer.” R-Bango handed over another big bill.

“What about me?” a third person asked.

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Proof that R-Bango is worldly and street smart. 

R-Bango was starting to figure things out. She had seen Paper Moon when she was a young tomboy and knew a grift when she saw one $40 later. She put her wallet back in her pocket and forcibly made her exit, walking past the outstretched hands before her.

As she caught up with W and her old friends, she wondered if her new friends had really liked her haircut. And if they actually thought she had pretty eyes.

Her wallet was lighter but she didn’t really care.

She had something money couldn’t buy.

A good story.

And a cool new name.

Word. From your boi R-Bango.

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Leave a comment and I will give you your own cool big city nickname. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The Flannel Files is Dyking Out

CoverArt (1)The Flannel Files has a new obsession (besides Bryce Harper, Captain Marvel and my new Instant Pot).
It’s a podcast called Dyking Out hosted by New York City-based comedians Carolyn Bergier and Sarah York.
You had me at Dyke, Carolyn and Sarah.
On each weekly episode, Carolyn and Sarah invite a guest to “dyke out” with them about a topic relevant to the LGBTQ world. But if you ask them, it’s really just another way to advance the gay agenda.
Dyking Out is smart and fun and bingeable, much like a canister of Pringles. And very, very queer. So, yeah, think gay, rainbow Pringles, which really should be a thing. Call me, Kellogg’s. It’s the perfect podcast to listen to when you’re using your Instant Pot, driving to a dyke march, browsing online for a new pair of sneakers … oh heck, it’s the perfect podcast to listen to when you’re doing pretty much anything.
Carolyn & Sarah photo by Jenni Walkowiak 2

Please note, Carolyn and Sarah passed our flannel test prior to this interview.

The Flannel Files is riding a streak of good luck these days. The Phillies are 4-1 and I had an opportunity to chat with Carolyn and Sarah about Dyking Out. Here’s what they had to say:

Flannel Files: There are so many podcasts out there today. Why should folks tune into Dyking Out?
Dyking Out: Anyone who wants to take a break from heteronormative content and have a good laugh while learning something new about queer living will get just that out of Dyking Out with us. Also, our guests get to talk about topics that they normally aren’t asked about or don’t get to dive into on other podcasts, so I think we offer up some pretty diverse perspectives and unique content.
FF: In the show’s description, you talk about advancing the “gay agenda.” How do you define gay agenda?
DO: The gay agenda to us is taking the shame that societal norms, religion, and conservatism has instilled in LGBTQIA people and replacing it with joy and pride. We do that by inviting people in the community to share their truth, from struggles to triumphs and everything in between, so that our listeners can hear relatable stories that help them feel less alone or othered.
FF: I heard you scored Rosie O’Donnell as a guest on an upcoming podcast to be recorded during Pride Week. Who else is on your dream guest list?
DO: Our dream guest is really anyone with a perspective different than ours with whom we can have a fun/funny conversation. Some of our favorite episodes have been with people who have very little name recognition. But also Wanda Sykes, Samira Wiley, Ellen Page, Senator Kyrsten Sinema, Abbi Jacobson, Leisha Hailey, Desiree Ahkavan, Lena Waithe, Alanis Morissette, Gillian Anderson … not that this is something we think about constantly.
FF: What are you listening to and watching these days?
DO: Most recently I watched that Queer Eye episode with Jess, the rad lesbian in Kansas City. (I don’t usually watch the show.) I cried a lot. I’ve been listening to Sir Babygirl and also revisiting Tracy Bonham’s “The Burdens of Being Upright.” I just met her at one of Jill Sobule’s shows, and she wants to play our show at Stonewall sometime! Sarah’s re-watching The L Word from the beginning, and also watching anything BUT Buffy The Vampire Slayer.
FF: That episode of Queer Eye is a real tear jerker. I mean, if a butch like me ever cried. So, let’s get really personal. Who’s your celebrity crush?
DO (Carolyn): It’s always changing for me but right now, Gillian Anderson for sure.
DO (Sarah): Kyrsten Sinema
FF: You’re stranded on a desert island. What three things stored in the pockets of your cargo pants keep you sane?
DO (Carolyn): A notebook, a pen and sunscreen
DO (Sarah): A charged cellphone and two power banks to re-charge it.
FF: On The Flannel Files, we talk a lot about lesbian stereotypes. What’s the most stereotypical thing about you?
DO (Carolyn): I’m legit grossed out by 95% of men. The sound of a man snorting back his snot triggers a very unpleasant, visceral reaction in me. I briefly had a male roommate and just hearing the force of his stream when he peed made me cringe.
DO (Sarah): My favorite thing I own is my leather jacket, and I want a motorcycle to complete the aesthetic.
CarolynSarahFF: Speaking of stereotypes, who’s the butch and who’s the femme?
DO: When we go to H&M, Sarah shops in the men’s section and I only look at lady suits.
FF: What’s one thing people would be surprised to know about you?
DO (Carolyn): In college, I made out with a lot of men to score free drinks because I hated being at straight bars and that was my way of coping.
DO (Sarah): People are always shocked to learn that I was in a sorority
FF: You’re both from New York City. What are a couple of queer things to do in the Big Apple?
DO: Dyke out with us the last Monday of every month at our stand-up comedy show at Stonewall! Also, there are SO many queer things going on. There’s a happy hour meetup called C U Next Tuesday at 3 Dollar Bill in Brooklyn, there’s Switch N Play, a queer burlesque collective that performs at branded saloon.
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Listen to Dyking Out on iTunes, Stitcher and Spotify and follow on Patreon, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. You won’t regret it.
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What are you dyking out over these days?

 

Broadway and drag queens

Kinky BootsAs they say in Kinky Boots …

Ladies, gentlemen and those who have yet to make up their minds …

W and I have returned from our jaunt to the Big Apple.  Barely.  We almost died on more than one occasion riding in NYC taxi cabs.  Or “yellow cars of death,” as I like to call them.

Highlights include some really good pizza, Ellen’s Stardust Diner where the waiters and waitresses serve burgers and Cokes and belt out Broadway tunes, and the glory that is the Broadway musical Kinky Boots.  W and I had third row seats, so we were right at boot level.

If you don’t know the Kinky Boots story, it’s about a drag queen who saves a shoe factory on the verge of bankruptcy.  But more than that, it’s a gender-bender of a tale about accepting others and loving yourself.  And drag queens.

So, with that, I’d thought I’d share the six-step program from Kinky Boots:

  • One: Pursue the truth.
  • Two: Learn something new.
  • Three: Accept yourself and you’ll accept others too!
  • Four: Let love shine.
  • Five: Let pride be your guide.
  • Six: Change the world when you change your mind!  Just be.  Who you wanna be.  Never let them tell you who you oughta be.  Just be.  With dignity.  Celebrate yourself triumphantly.  You’ll see.  It’s beautiful.  You’ll see.  It’s beautiful.

Me and W in NYC

New York CityW and I are heading to the Big Apple tomorrow.

We have tickets to see Kinky Boots.  Because drag queens.  We’re planning on paying a visit to Stonewall and having dinner nearby.  Will be staying overnight at a hotel in Times Square.

Any recommendations?  What are your “must dos” when you’re in town?