Words of wisdom

The Petco clerk tells me she’s like a cockroach.

“I’ve see everything, honey. This ain’t gonna kill me.”

Who wore it better? Bieber or the lesbians?

She wears a pair of one-size-too-big jeans cinched at the waist by a thick brown leather belt. Her hair is styled like Justin Bieber’s circa 2012. Her laugh is loud like shattered glass.

“And if it does, I’ve got news for you. We’re all gonna go sometime.”

For some reason, her bravado makes me feel better.

Mr. Rogers said in times of crisis to look for the helpers.

I say look for the helpers.

Also, look for the butches.

I walk to my car with necessary supplies: cat food, litter and some words about not being afraid.

* * *

What words of wisdom are getting you through these tough times?  Please share.

 

Lesbian fashion

MIDDLE-AGE BUTCH, THANK YOU FOR YOUR RECENT PURCHASE IN THE Boy’s DEPARTMENT.  SAVINGS LOOK GOOD ON YOU!

Gee, Kohl’s Department Store, I never knew you noticed.

This e-mail message was followed by pictures of two Justin Bieberish male models wearing striped v-neck shirts.

WE THOUGHT THESE WOULD LOOK GOOD ON YOU.

Oh, Kohl’s, how right you are.  You do know your lesbians.

W laughed when I told her about the e-mail.

“I’m touched,” I said.

“It’s kind of creepy,” she said.

“Touching and creepy,” I replied.

* * *

Here’s hoping you have a touching holiday minus the creepy, of course.  Happy Holidays!