W and I live our lives just like any married couple.
We had a commitment ceremony a couple of years ago. In our eyes, it was a real wedding, even though there was no officiant and we never received an official marriage license in the mail.
We do everything that married couples do. She falls asleep with the TV and her bedside light on. This drives me crazy. I have my own annoying habits like taking off my socks in the middle of the night and leaving them in the sheets and apparently snoring like a lumberjack with a head cold. We disagree about whether it’s ok to eat at not-so-gay-friendly Chik-fil-a and the best way to get from here to there.
We always kiss and make up though. Always. At night when the world has gone dark and we are sleeping side by side, everything seems and feels just right.
What does it matter that we can’t file our taxes jointly. I get domestic partner benefits through her employer. So, there’s that.
And, besides, I tried that man-woman marriage thing once before, and it wasn’t so great.
When you’re gay, you have to think outside the box, and that’s always been fine by me. I’ve never fit into boxes anyway.
So, this morning when I read that the U.S. Supreme Court had struck down the Defense of Marriage Act as unconstitutional, I surprised myself by tearing up. (Ok, I sobbed, but don’t tell anyone. This butch has a rep to protect.)
It wasn’t about the marriage issue at the heart of the ruling.
It was more about the fact that I’ve felt like a second-class citizen most of my life. Not good enough. Never good enough. Not only in the eyes of others but in my eyes as well.
But on this hot and muggy summer morning, a beautiful and sublime morning, the highest court in the land said gays and lesbians are entitled to “equal liberty.”
W and I don’t live in a state that allows gay marriage. That doesn’t make the ruling any less sweet.
This morning as I read about the decision, I felt good enough — not just in the eyes of the law but in my own heart.