Tag Archives: Charlie’s Angles

What my cats taught me about gender roles today

Today was a crazy busy day.

The crazy part happened this morning when I was getting ready to take a shower.

I was reading War and Peace sitting on the toilet when a large gray mouse scurried across the bathroom floor.  I instinctively lifted my legs in the air because I didn’t want the mouse to brush up against my bare flesh.  I’m pretty sure you can catch the plague or some other early-century disease from contact with a single wild  mouse hair.

Anyway, I shrieked.  Which leads to this question: If a butch screams and no one is home to hear it, does the scream make a sound?

I started calling for Magic, our ace mouser.  It’s a very un-butch feeling to be stranded half naked, calling for your cat to help you out of a jam.

If Magic was an Angel, she'd be this one.

If Magic was an Angel, she’d be this one.

When it comes to mice, Magic is no-nonsense like Judge Judy and Kate Jackson in Charlie’s Angels, with just a touch of crazy like Lindsay Lohan.  Feral cats, you have to love ’em.

Magic was nowhere to be found.  Apparently, she doesn’t know the meaning of the word “help.”

Instead, I saw our cat Moon walking up the stairs with the mouse in his mouth.  Moon is, well, a little soft.  If he wore clothes, he’d probably don capri pants capped off with a big, billowy pirate shirt, the entire ensemble accented with an ascot.  And yes, Moon would use the word “ensemble.”

Moon is like this guy

Moon is like this guy

I watched Moon skip down the hallway with the mouse.  It was like watching Nathan Lane shoot pool or change the oil in his car.

Usually, Magic is the take-charge cat in the house, cornering mice, sneaking out of the house, engineering surprise attacks on the other cats.

Moon?  Well, he likes to sleep on our bed.  And he likes to have his tummy rubbed.  Did I mention the sleeping thing?

After today’s act of cat-versus-mouse bravado, he’s been walking a little taller and, dare I say, strutting about the house.

“You go, Moon,” I called out to him.

He was so chill that he didn’t even look my way.

It was yet another reminder that we should all break out of our comfort zones every once in awhile.

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ParaNorman redefines ‘normal’

I took the kids to see ParaNorman a few weeks ago.  It’s a terrific stop-motion animated kids’ flick about Norman, a pre-teen who has the ability to see and communicate with ghosts.

The movie is better than most PG-rated films.  It’s no Despicable Me mind you, but the characters are interesting and some of the jokes and gags are actually funny.

I especially enjoyed a scene in which Norman, his sister Courtney and a zombie are riding in the backseat of the family car.  Norman’s father turns around, wags his chubby finger and gives the three of them the classic if-I-have-to-stop-this-car speech.  It’s funny because there’s a zombie in the backseat.  Zombies make everything fun, even Jane Austen.

The movie is all ABC After School Special as it talks about not being afraid to be yourself and accepting others for who they are.  “You don’t become a hero by being normal,” the movie poster says.

The most significant part, says this lesbian movie watcher, comes at the end when Norman battles a witch and returns the zombies to their graves, saving the town from a paranormal disaster of epic proportion.  Courtney, who has been salivating over the town’s muscle-bound jock, Mitch, for much of the movie, bats her eyelashes and suggests that the two of them catch a movie sometime.

Mitch, voiced by Casey Affleck, consents and says something like: “You’ll love my boyfriend.  He’s a big fan of chick flicks.”

Mitch

Whoa.

It turns out to be a big reveal that really isn’t so big after all.  And, that’s what makes it so great.

Our kids groaned.  I think they get their fill of same-sex coupling at home.

But none of the characters in ParaNorman batted on eye.  Courtney reacts in much the same way that any jilted lover would, regardless of whether her possible paramour’s competing love interest is a man or woman.

The movie got me thinking about other movie and TV characters.  I often think that I came out later in life because there weren’t many Mitch’s around when I was growing up.

My life might have turned out differently if Shirley had kicked Carmine to the curb and abandoned her roommate ruse with Laverne in Season 3.  “Vo-dee-o-doe-doe” would have had a completely different meaning.

Laverne and Shirley

Or, what if Kate and Allie had retired to the same bedroom each night?

During an episode of the show, I once suggested to my college roommate that we continue to cohabitate Kate-and-Allie style after school.

“Uh.  Yeah.  No,” she quickly replied.

At that moment, I realized that most women did not aspire to such a lifestyle.  Personally, I thought the whole Kate and Allie idea was brilliant.  Two women sharing expenses and responsibilities and child rearing, rendering the male role superfluous.

It would be like a slumber party every night of the week, except we’d have to pay rent and buy our own Doritos and not stay up too late because there’s work the next day.  Oh, and the kids.  We better put them to bed before we bake brownies and watch In Her Shoes.  Ah, heck.  We might as well go to bed, too.

Kate and Allie

I can’t help but wonder what my life would have been like if Alice had run off with the Brady Bunch’s free-spirited, world-traveling Aunt Jenny (played by Imogene Coca).  Aunt Jenny might have been a plain Jane in the looks department, but she had a limo (sweet), knew Wilt Chamberlain (score — free NBA tickets) and rubbed elbows with world leaders.  “Sorry, folks, but Aunt Jenny and I will be leaving tonight to have a lot of falafel with Golda Meir,” Alice might say.

Aunt Jenny

Or, what if Lacey had left Harv for Cagney.  Freeing Harv to date Magnum P.I. (a match made in moustache heaven, if you ask me).  Or, if the fireworks between The Facts of Life‘s Jo and Blair erupted into a make-out session in a utility closet on the third floor of Eastland School for Girls.  I can almost hear Mrs. Garrett’s shocked, trilling “Girrrrrrls.”

Of course, there’s always Charlies Angels.  “Once upon a time, there were three little girls …”

Gratuitous Charlies Angels photo

The moral to this story is that the world needs more Mitch’s.  Gay characters who are just that– gay characters.  Not punch lines, or caricatures, or targets or closet dwellers or even grand lessons in tolerance and acceptance.  Just characters who move about in a fictional world in the same exact way that everyone else does.

And, who aren’t afraid to state that they have boyfriends who like chick flicks.

How about you?  Who would like to see playing for team rainbow on the big or small screen?