The butch is back

So, it’s been a while. Remember me?


Gratuitous picture of one of my cats.

I’ve been busy with life. Kids and cats. The wife. But mostly life. Ups and downs.

I know, it’s no excuse. You felt abandoned. I hear you, and I’m sorry.

The real reason I haven’t posted in almost three months is because I’ve been thinking about this blog and whether it still suits me.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m proud of my posts and the many on-line relationships I’ve formed through The Flannel Files.

The Flannel Files was the start of so many good things for me. It was my entry into writing and, in many ways, the lesbian community.

I was looking for my voice, and I found it.

At the time, I needed to blog anonymously. I wasn’t strong enough or confident enough to write under my own name. I didn’t know who I was as a writer and was still figuring out where I fit in the LGBTQIA alphabet. I was vulnerable (never, ever repeat this) and needed to wrap myself in flannel-forged armor.

I’m not the same person.


You know you have 1. Or 3.

I have a new book launching in a few days, and I’m figuring out my intentions for that book. I’m deciding how I want to move forward with my writing. And how I want to move forward as a butch lesbian in a world in which we’re about as rare as a lesbian who doesn’t own a caribiner.

So, this isn’t farewell.

If I do end up leaving The Flannel Files, I’ll give you a proper goodbye. Maybe not a hug but a firm handshake and a silent head nod directed at all the butches out there.

And of course, I’ll hold the door open for the femmes before I close it shut.

Because I owe you all so much. These words are mine, but you’ve read them so gently and with such an open and generous heart.

MyMotherSaysDrumsAreForBoysBefore I get too teary (butches don’t cry, their eyes sweat), I want to plug my new book, My Mother Says Drums Are for Boys: True Stories for Gender Rebels. The e-book is available now for pre-order and will be available for sale on Aug. 1. The print book will be available a few days after that.

Buy it and read a letter from me to my mullet, instructions on how to be an Amazon and a list of songs I was obsessed with that should have alerted me to the fact that I liked girls way back in the day.

“Hot for Teacher” anyone?




11 responses to “The butch is back

  1. Well this slightly femme blogger missed you… so hello there, & I’m so looking forward to your book! Sounds like you have done a lot of reassessment, & it’s very healthy to need to perhaps set different intentions for one’s blog & life.

    *waves from Australia, G 🌈💪🏼🌈

  2. Your talent is always obvious in everything you write. Even this blog post is just so, so, – I don’t know if I can even find a word or words to give it proper merit. But anyway, I can feel you (hope that’s not too creepy) through your writing. That’s not an easy to accomplish task for many scribes.

    I get moving on from the blog. But don’t ever give up on your writing. That would be such a loss for us all.

    So excited about your new book. I’m eager to read it. Always wishing you the best. xo

    • Thanks, WW, for all of your support, always. Way back to my first book launch party in 2015. Before we had even met. I don’t intend to give up writing, although I haven’t been doing much of it lately. Just redefining what kind of writer I want to be. What do I want to write? How do I want to get my words out into the world? What’s the purpose? Setting intentions and all that.

      Stay cool and keep writing. And I’ll see soon!

  3. There you are. 😀 … hope you decide to stick around the blog-O-sphere, if not this one then another. 🙂

  4. Just ordered your new book 🙂

  5. Ooo! Just got your book and can’t wait to binge-read this weekend. And…glad you’re back & I hope you stay!

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