I was this guy. Cool, I know.

My favorite Halloween costume was a sea monster. Actually, I was Sigmund from the TV show Sigmund and the Sea Monsters. It was a costume that came in a box, probably from Kmart or some other discount store. My mom taped crepe paper streamers in different shades of green to the body of the costume to give it an authentic sea monster feel.

I was in second or third grade and really into the show. I even had a Sigmund and the Sea Monsters lunch pail. I know. I was so cool.

I don’t remember many other Halloween costumes.

I think my first costume was a lamb. Not too far from the black sheep I turned out to be.

I was a witch one year with a black wig with streaks of white and long black plastic fingernails.


Just when you thought I couldn’t get any cooler. And yes, that is a mullet.

In college, I was usually some weird androgynous superhero. I always started with a cape because who doesn’t want to rock a cape. And added face paint. Colored hairspray. Suspenders. I was like the love child of Superman and Elton John and the members of Kiss. With some Phantom of the Opera thrown in for good luck.

One year, I bought a blue and gray fedora in a thrift shop in town and designed some weird old man costume around it. The costume was a dud, but I liked wearing the hat.

These days, I’m not so big on dressing up. When you feel like you’ve been wearing a costume for the better part of three decades, Halloween dress-up loses its luster. If I had to dress up, I’d probably toss on a Phillies jersey and cap and call it a day. Maybe add some eyeblack if I was really trying.

Most mornings, I smile when I get dressed. I slip on a pair of jeans or cargo shorts, a pair of boxer briefs, a T-shirt with or without another shirt underneath depending on the weather. I don’t worry about “appropriate” or the difference between boy clothes and girl clothes. Instead, I focus on wearing clothes that make me feel good. Happy. Clothes that make me feel like me.

And I say a quick thanks to the person who runs the joint. Thanks for getting me here to this place where I can finally wear the clothes I want all day, every day. It was worth the wait.

Other fun Halloween facts:

  • I don’t have a favorite candy, although I usually eat everyone’s Whoppers and Almond Joys. (No one here likes coconut or malt flavoring. Losers.)
  • We used to live in Battle Creek, Michigan, which is the home of Kellogg’s cereal. Many of our neighbors handed out mini boxes of cereal instead of candy, which my brother would refuse with a polite “no thank you.”

* * *

Your turn. Favorite Halloween costume? Favorite candy?


6 responses to “Costumes

  1. My favorite Halloween costume was a cowboy outfit when I was 7. I was badass enough with my fringe vest, hat, and badge. I even had boots. But then my dad tied a pistol in its holster onto my belt. My understandably concerned mother asked if he was sure that was safe. Oh sure, he responded. It’s okay. I removed the firing pin.
    Can you even imagine that happening today?! When my dad died, I found the pistol. I keep it to remind me how badass I felt. Pure confidence, baby.

    Favorite candy? Red vines.
    Favorite Halloween candy? Reese’s peanut butter cups. I don’t even care you can get them year round. LOL

  2. I like your Moms creativity with the added crepe paper. My favorite costume, although I’m no longer in to dressing up, was a witch. Back in my skinny days, I made one sexy witch. Long, lean legs, stylish hat, and big 80’s hair. Candy? I used to like it all, hence, no more sexy witch costumes for me. Now I prefer baked goods over candy. My favorite, dark chocolate cake with peanut butter icing from Louie’s in Macungie, PA. Happy Halloween.

  3. Favorite Halloween Costume—Madonna…for sure! Cone bra and all.
    Favorite candy—-Milky Way Dark

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