My butch bucket list

A friend’s husband died a few weeks ago.

We are going to the funeral tomorrow.

I’ve read several versions of the eulogy.

Each time, I’ve been struck by one line.

Bucket listThe man who died was puzzled by the concept of the bucket list.  This was a foreign concept to him, because he lived his bucket list.  As a result, he left this world with no regrets.

I wonder how many of us can say that.

I have always been a late bloomer.  I didn’t come out until my 30s and often regret time lost being young and carefree without a pretty girl or two by my side.

I didn’t start writing creatively until I was in my 40s. I think of all of the blogs and books that I could have written.

But still, I am grateful that I did come out. I feel lucky to have written a book that was published.  I am excited about what the immediate future holds for me as I am challenging myself to tackle things out of my comfort zone like public speaking, mentoring, advocacy and activism.

Today, I am thinking about my bucket list differently. Not as a list of goals to be kept in a drawer and checked off over time but a list of things to do now.  When I am able.  When I still have time.

So, in honor of a friend who knew what was truly important and how to get the most out of life, I’d like to share my bucket list:

Bucket List

  • See Fleetwood Mac in concert
  • Tailgate (and otherwise party) with my Penn State friends as often as possible
  • Write
  • Publish
  • See The Book of Mormon
  • Take W to New Orleans
  • Throw out the first pitch at a baseball game
  • Go on an Olivia cruise
  • Perform as a Drag King
  • Take art classes
  • Learn how to make really good meatballs
  • Go to a strip club
  • Learn how to flyfish
  • Go to Phillies spring training in Clearwater, Fla.
  • Visit the Baseball Hall of Fame
  • Get a hot stone massage
  • Get a koi tattoo

* * *

What about you?  What’s on your list?

14 responses to “My butch bucket list

  1. I’ve been to a Fleetwood Mac concert. IT WAS AMAZING!! You must go!!

    My bucket list consists of being published as well. I would also like to do a little globe trotting. I have New Zealand, where my Honey Bee lives currently, and Germany on my “places I am definitely going to” list. I want to learn how to cook French food. I would like to go to Pride Fest in Chicago with my lifetime friend who lives there. I want to take my girls to Disney World.

    I could go on and on. 😛

  2. Interesting list and a great philosophy–don’t wait for “some day.”

  3. I have always had low expectations regarding life accomplishments, I think mainly because of childhood poverty. I’ve done a few amazing things–well, amazing by my standards–and feel like maybe I have done most everything that could happen to a person like me.

    That said, there is one thing I’d like very much to do, and that is have an insider’s tour of Pixar Animation Studios. I have a standing invitation from one of Pixar’s art directors, who is a good friend. The cost of a major trip like that is what holds me back.

    And I hope very much to be able to attend my 30th college reunion in Philadelphia next spring. Again, money is the big obstacle.

    I hope you can empty your bucket soon!

    • Sometimes I think I keep my expectations low, too. And that’s why I don’t make more money, have more success, etc. Interestingly, when I open myself up to possibility and allow myself to feel worthy of success, good things happen. If a person like me is entitled to good things, then so is a person like you.

      Say hi to Buzz and Woody at Pixar for me and enjoy that reunion! Keep a positive attitude and check off those bucket items.

  4. Please don’t go to a strip club! Ugh. Don’t participate in men’s culture of misogyny.

  5. Fun list – most of my bucket list is stuff I want to do, but not exactly joyous (train Gracie not to bark hysterically at loud noises in the hall, learn Yoga, submit writing outside of blog, and be a better friend). I suppose I should put joyfulness on my bucket list…

  6. Thanks, Rae. Going to give more thought to other stuff that moves me as a result of this post. It’s fun! Had to Google koi tatoo. Clicked on : FUCK YEAH, KOI TATOOS! link. OMG, they’re beautiful. Of course, I have no desire for a tat, so that’s not on my bucket list, but…
    What I really desire is to reach transgender FTM folks either through my blog or in any form of published work(s). It’s recently been placed on my bucket list. The fact that it’s tugging at me so strongly tells me it’s going to occur. I know this, as well, because of the people in my life helping to make it happen.

  7. I can help you with the hot stone massage! Just let me know. . This is a great list. 🙂

  8. Pingback: Middle-age Butch speaks | The Flannel Files

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