What I know for sure (the butch version)

With apologies to Oprah …

What I know for sure

1. The butchest woman in the room will always have the prettiest name like Daisy or Pitter, which is the sound a fairy wing makes when it flutters in the open air.

2. There will never be a bathing suit that is perfect for a butch.

3. You can’t have too much flannel.

4. Can I Help You, Sir? is a great name for an all-butch rock band.

5. Chivalry will never die as long as there’s one butch left on the planet.

6. Butches are magical creatures who bend the rules of time.  That’s why a butch can be mistaken for a teenage boy and a middle-aged man all in the same day.

7. The butch nod is invisible to the nonbutch, much like unicorns are invisible to nonbelievers.

8. Butches don’t walk, they strut.

9. Butches don’t cry.  Their eyes leak water.

10. Butches have a marshmallow center.

11. Butches are loyal and dependable and tender hearted, even though they will tell you that they are not.

Also, I am experimenting with some butch merchandise.  Check out this cool coffee mug.  If that doesn’t say butch, I don’t know what does.  Note: Mug says “butch.”  Right on it.

* * *

What about you?  What do you know for sure?

19 responses to “What I know for sure (the butch version)

  1. I know for sure that Middle Age Butch is one of my favorite writers. I know for sure that “Can I Help You, Sir?” would be a great title for a book.

  2. Used to be a great butch blog “Can I Help You, Sir” – it became LG in DC (also on WordPress) but it is not very active.

  3. I enjoyed reading this very much! Your writing style is very captivating and fun to read!
    I have started my blog, you may be interested in it, I would love for you to check it out. 🙂


  4. I know that I love this blog lol

  5. 12 – Butches read manuals.

    Cool mug, too 🙂

  6. I don’t know much about butches but I can attest to the unicorns being invisible to non-believers 😉

  7. Butches have a tool box. Or a tool belt. Or just a screwdriver.

    • You know it, Chris. First “real” lesbian I ever knew always carried a screwdriver around in her back pocket. I thought it was a lesbian thing. Now I know it’s a butch thing.

  8. Greetings, Middleagebutch!

    What I know for sure is that you’ve inspired me and directed the course of a new poem, which is one of the reasons I love reading other bloggers! Thanks so much!

    Love The Flannel Files,

    From A Fabulous Middle-Age Fem!

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