Finding love

W texted me from work yesterday afternoon.

“Can we have the same thing for dinner that we had last night?”

“Um, I think so,” I text back.

It is not a difficult meal to prepare.  Breaded chicken tenders, noodles with butter and parmesan, and corn.

Imagine a butcher version

Me, only butchier.

W is struggling with some things these days, so I do what I can to make things easy for her.  I try to have dinner ready when she comes home.  I try to have the house picked up and food in the fridge.  I buy her cards and write her notes and sneak a piece of chocolate in her lunch.  Cooking chicken tenders two days in a row really isn’t a big deal.

When W comes home, I am in the kitchen finishing up dinner.

“Thank you for finding me,” she says.

Online datingShe says it all the time.  It’s a reference to how we met on match.com.  I was the one who sent her a note.  I was the one who found her.

“Someone has to take care of you,” I say.

“I know,” she replies.

W tells me how lucky she is to have me in her life.   The women she works with always tell her they need a Middle-age Butch to do all of the things I do.  Someone to pack their lunches, cook their dinners, pick up their prescriptions, do their grocery shopping.

I am not available.  I am a one-woman woman.

I remind W that she does lots of things for me.

She disagrees.

“It just looks different,” I tell her.

W is the breadwinner.  Because she works so hard, I am able to work from home and take care of things like lunches and dinners and errands.

Foam fingerShe is my biggest fan.  She loves everything I write.  This writer with low self-esteem needs to have her ego stroked.  Often.  Like a giant, needy cat.  Without W’s encouragement, there would be no finished book.

She loves telling people about my book.  I tell her not to make such a big fuss, but inside I light up like a firework.

She tells me I’m cute.  All the time.  Sometimes I even believe her.  She tells me I’m the world’s best lesbian.  But then we all knew that already.

W is the adventurer.  She drags me along on her excursions.  I plant the heels of my Dr. Marten’s in the mud and make things difficult.  But I am always glad to have ventured out and seen the world through her eyes.

She makes me giggle.  If you tell anyone, I’ll only deny it.  And then poke you with a sharp pokey object.

Moths in candlelightShe is the love and light in our house.  The rest of us are just moths.

The things I do can be calculated in monetary terms.  How much would you pay someone to cook your dinner or do your grocery shopping?

But W’s contributions are priceless.  To help a person believe she is a rock star like Joan Jett or Melissa Etheridge and can achieve her dreams is an invaluable skill and service.

It happens.  Sometimes.  When the stars align.  And you find the right person and fall in love.

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27 responses to “Finding love

  1. I love this post. I relate a lot to you. I’m glad you have someone so incredibly special and supportive! 😀

  2. I’m sure if W did a guest post we’d find out that you do a lot more for her than cook, run errands, and do the other stuff that people sometimes pay for (ahem). It what makes a relationship last.

    • Well, yeah. Some of the things I do tend to be more concrete and quantifiable. That was my point. But it’s those unquantifiable things that make a relationship special and durable.

  3. *sigh* I love your posts. They make me all weepy, but in a good way. How you feel about W is how I feel about my husband and you and I are in the same role at home. He and I also met through a dating service. Remember Great Expectations video dating? Anyway, I think it’s wonderful you two found each other. You both deserve the best and it’s obvious that’s exactly what you got. 🙂

  4. Love this so much!!! I feel like I hear so many stories about dysfunctional marriages and so few stories about functional, happy ones. That you started off this post with W having a hard time made it even more beautiful to me.

  5. beautiful. sigh 😉

  6. Reblogged this on Coming Out Crooked and commented:
    now this is what i’m talking about…we ALL need a little more of this 😉

  7. This eerily mirrors Mrs Widds and me. We ought’a start a club …. HouseButchesRock! 😀

    • House butches do rock. (Makes horn sign with one hand like Ronnie James Dio.) I’m envisioning something like Mr. Mom. But it would be Mrs. Butch. You know, all of the house butches getting together in the afternoon to play poker for coupons while the better halves are at work. Gad, I suppose I should write a script for that, too.

  8. This. This is what I’m saying. 🙂 This is also us.

    This poker for coupons thing… can… can we do this? I’m coupon rich! I have disposable coupon income.

  9. Reblogged this on Javon Monét and commented:
    This is everything and more

  10. Storm M. Silvermane

    You and W mirror Me and Angel. I love it, to know there are others out there with as wonderful a relationship as I have.

  11. Thanks for a feel good story. It restores my faith in connection and relationships !

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