The year of the butch

Subtitle: Obligatory post after getting Freshly Pressed (Seriously, it’s in the WordPress rulebook.)

Wow, it’s only January and so much has happened in my busy butch life.

Curse you, evil fortune cookie lady!

Curse you, evil fortune cookie lady!

Before 2014 even started, there was an omen that things were going to be different. A fortune cookie that I innocently selected after a takeout meal of shrimp in lobster sauce instructed me to “welcome change.”  It was an evil fortune cookie, apparently baked and stuffed by evil people in an evil fortune cookie factory. Anyone who knows me knows I despise change. I am more rigid than a brand new pair of Dr. Marten’s eight-eyelet lace-up boots.

Things I like more than change:
— Paper cuts
— Use of the “word” womyn
— Calculus
— That Nationwide commercial with the giant baby

This never happened.

This never happened.

And then the new year came, and the world didn’t explode.

I started writing again after hibernating like a big ol’ bear (or furry lesbian who hasn’t shaved her legs all winter).

I’ve since finished another memoir chapter.

I wrote a blog post about a message from the universe that was delivered by a mystic plumber and got Freshly Pressed. Like three minutes after I posted it.

That’s when I declared 2014 “the year of the butch.”

It’s a new year, and I’m trying to welcome change. Like I would my least favorite aunt or perhaps 35 inches of snow. So, maybe not with open arms but with a curt, businesslike handshake.

I have a whole bunch of new followers thanks to getting FP’d. Is it just me or does that sound weird and wrong?

So, welcome new followers.

A few things you should know about me:

  • Pet peeves — Use of the “word” womyn. (You can’t just make up words, people. Old crunchy lesbian, I’m talking to you.)
  • Confession — Sometimes I blog about my cats. (You can read my all-time favorite cat story here in a post deftly titled “Of mice and lesbians.”)  I have no clue why this has not been optioned for a TV mini-series or children’s book.
  • Other things to know about me — I blog a lot about gender, the butch-femme spectrum and what it’s like to be called “sir” when I’m shopping at the grocery store. People tend to like these posts a lot. My work in progress — a memoir that I hope to sell for millions of dollars to a mainstream publishing giant — is about that kind of stuff, too. (Note: I will not sell the book if the publisher insists on calling it One Womyn’s Struggle or Some People Think This Womyn Is a Myn. Okay, maybe for a million bucks. The thought of a brand new Subaru Outback and a shopping spree in the young men’s department of our local department store is too tempting.  I am, after all, a butch and not a rock.)
  • My partner — I call her “W.” She is my muse. Not that I sketch her naked — that’s some other blog, sicko — but because she inspires me to be my best butch. She always laughs out loud at my blog posts (when appropriate, of course) and pretty much thinks I’m a super-talented writer. What’s not to love?
  • Sometimes I — Post gratuitous pictures of sexy women. Because I can.  Sorry, Heidi Klum.
  • Frozen pipe update — Pipes froze again. I thawed them out with a hairdryer. Which is weird because me butch. You hairdryer. Have you any idea how short my hair is? But thawing frozen pipes, even  with a hair styling accessory, is how you keep your lesbian card current.
  • Goals for 2014 — 1,000 blog followers, finish memoir manuscript, try to sell memoir manuscript. Other things, too, like self-improvement, blah, blah, blah, give to poor, blah, blah, blah, add more T-shirts to embarrassingly large collection.

In 2013 The Flannel Files was viewed 15,000 times. That’s about how many lesbians attend an average Melissa Etheridge concert. Which kinda makes me Melissa Etheridge. Well, not really. But I love me some Melissa. You should know that about me, too.

So, thanks for joining with millions of other Flannel Files followers. Ok, so, like, 600 hundred and some.  And enjoy the ride and the soft but rugged power of flannel.

* * *

Enough about me.  What about you?  Tell me something, anything about yourself.  Surprise me.

20 responses to “The year of the butch

  1. Something about myself, eh? I sorta can’t stand Melissa Etheridge. I’m surprising myself by really being drawn to Jethro Tull lately. Also, I may have just written the most original blog post about public restrooms, ever!

    • That’s sacrilegious! No Melissa! But to each his own. I can handle some classic Tull … a little Aqua Lung. Is there new Jethro Tull?

      Off to check out that post on bathrooms. You have piqued my curiousity, my friend.

      • No new Jethro Tull that I know about. I just put the 40th anniversary of Aqua Lung, double disc, on my mp3 player. Been singing into my mop handle – er I mean microphone – all day at work.

        Your book title, Some People Think This Womyn Is a Myn, made me laugh out loud!

      • Glad I was able to inject some humor into your day.

        You should blog about your drag performance sometime. I would be interested in hearing what that’s like. I have an interest (and drag name) but don’t know if I have the balls (pun intended) to do that.

  2. Sorry I haven’t been around at all lately. I’ve just been really busy. Congrats on your F.P.! That’s awesome. I will go read the winning post now.

    About me? I consider myself the opposite of a Mormon.

  3. I found you the first time you got Freshly Pressed and I’ve stuck around because, like W, you make me laugh out loud (when appropriate, of course).

    Something about myself? I’m neither butch nor femme. When I was a junior lesbian, I used to call myself “andro”. Now? I’m just queer me!

  4. “Me butch. You hairdryer.” Love it! Glad you got your pipes unfrozen. You are well on your way to you 2014 goals. It’s going to be a good year!

    • Yes, the water is flowing. Hot and cold. Nothing like a hot shower, especially when it’s so cold outside. And I have a hair dryer to thank.

      Eyes on the prize in 2014. Thanks for all of your support and encouragement!

  5. I have a permanent freckle on the end of my nose. 😀

  6. Soooo well deserved! Congrats!!!

  7. Just found you via your comment on Victoria Oldham’s latest post

    … congratulations on getting FP’d 😀 (I think it should officially be called that from now on)

    … it’s definitely the Year of the Butch!

  8. I just clicked on to your blog from The Cancer Kitten’s blog…and here’s one: I am a Mormon. 🙂

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