Vacation fears

W and I are headed to Provincetown, Mass., this weekend.

“I don’t travel well,” I told her.

“What does that mean?” she asked.

NewspaperI am a creature of habit.  I like my routine.  My newspaper in the morning.  The big stack of books that sits on the bench next to my side of the bed.  My cat.  The daily mail.

“We can get you a paper in the morning,” she said.

This is true.

“It won’t by my paper,” I said.

Because sometimes I am just difficult and a big giant baby dressed in flannel.

It’s a mask.  A mask to cover up the fear.  The fear of being somewhere different with different people and different food and a different newspaper.

I’m afraid of a lot of things.  You wouldn’t know this to look at me.  Every morning, I dress in a coat of armor.  Masculine clothes with straight, rigid lines shield me from the rest of the world.   My arms folded in a large X across my chest serve as my sole accessory.  An additional barrier between me and them.

The only problem is that it keeps everyone away, even those who love me the most.

* * *

So, we leave for P-Town in three days.  Any suggestions on what to do or where to go?  Maybe a great lesbian bar will help me lower my defense shield. 

12 responses to “Vacation fears

  1. I am clearly an amateur… Sorry! I somehow pasted part of one of my past things as a comment, thought my reply didn’t go through, and then rewrote the reply. I am a dork….. Please erase it, and set me free:)

    • Welcome fellow dork. Previous message has been erased. I once accidentally sent an e-mail to my boss about going to a strip club, so it could be worse.

      • Thank you so much! It’s taking me ALOT of time to advance technologically, but I’m slowly getting there. After all, I still mail my bills in the mail, with a stamp! By the way, I really enjoy your posts… Funny!

  2. I am the same as you. I don’t like my routine disrupted. And I too am off on an adventure starting tomorrow. Just my daughter and I. I will miss my cats. Hope you have fun on your trip. I’ll be posting from mine. At least, I can keep that the same. 😉

  3. I’ll be in Ptown in a week myself. I’ll check back to see how it went. Maybe you’ll have some tips for me. My favorite thing about Ptown is swimming in the ocean. We don’t do that here in Oregon. Here in Oregon the water it is always 38 degrees and murky and you have to worry about jelly fish and giant “sneaker” waves that come out of nowhere and wash tourists out to sea. In Ptown you can stand up to your neck and still see the bottom.

    • I’m sure I’ll have a post or two about the trip. I don’t know if we’ll have any beach time. We will have very limited time there. Swimming in Oregon sounds like an adventure. I love jellyfish but not as swimming companions. And I don’t like anything sneaking up on me.

  4. I so appreciate your honesty about your fears and the ways you attempt to protect yourself from the different and the new…..Seems like most of us do that to one degree or another but many of us are so caught up in feeling like we shouldn’t feel afraid that we eschew any acknowledgement that we might have fears of our own. But doesn’t being human…in fact being alive make us all automatically vulnerable and, as a result, with plenty of reasons to feel fear? I think you show bravery by putting yourself out there as you are…fears and all! Have a good time in PTown!! All the best to you and yours! 🙂

  5. I hear you about routines! It’s scary to change things up when you’re a creature of habit, that’s for sure. I am very fortunate in that I’ve been to Ptown so many times now that it feels routine. It is stunningly beautiful, you will love it! One (tiny) heads-up, Fourth of July weekend is typically a “guys” weekend, so don’t be afraid of the mobs of boisterous gay men! 😉 For a couple of good, less-touristy places, Relish in the West End has the BEST sandwiches imaginable and Harbor Lounge in the East End has outstanding cocktails and a great, comfy ambiance. Both places are a little out of the way of the crowds and have very friendly staff. If you’re looking to REALLY get away, walk the jetty out to Long Point lighthouse. It’s 1.5 miles, but a gorgeous walk and not a whole lot of people like to make the trek. And then if all else fails, the drinks from the bartender at Bayside Betsy’s, George, will help you forget your anxiety. 😉
    Hope you have a WONDERFUL time!

    • Thanks for the tips. Sounds like good advice (especially the part about the drinks). We go to the Jersey Shore a lot, so that is routine for us. Will let you know how we like P-Town.

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