Middle-age butch screams like a little girl

There was a lot of commotion in our house early this morning.  Our crackerjack mouser, Magic the Cat, had captured a mouse and carried it upstairs to the bathtub for further torture play.

W woke me up so that I could fetch a large plastic cup to trap the mouse and then set him free.  We’ve got this mouse rescue thing down to a science.

I handed the cup off to W, and she pulled back the shower curtain.

“Oh my God, he’s so big!” I said.

According to W, this gave the mouse the courage to scale the walls of the tub and make a break for freedom.

imagesCA3Q04LXWhen the mouse raced up and out of the tub, I screamed.  Loudly.  Shrilly.  Like a 13-year-old girl watching The Blair Witch Project at a sleepover.

Magic stared up at me from the steps.  “You dumb ass.  I had that mouse all caught,” she said.  “Were you waiting for me to gift wrap it for you?”

She can be a total asshole sometimes.

With the mouse on the loose, W and I decided to go back to bed and pretend that nothing had happened.

In bed, W couldn’t resist pointing out the girlish — and very unbutch — nature of my shriek.

“You just handed me a plastic cup and started screaming like a girl,” she said.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know that you wanted to play by rigid gender roles,” I replied.  “Next time, I’ll try to scream in a more manly fashion, ” I added.

And that’s how we started our Saturday.  It wasn’t even 7:00 a.m., and we were having a heady discussion about gender and roles and expectations and whether it is beyond the realm of butchdom to scream in a girlish fashion when a rodent — imagine a ginormous, fanged rodent the size of a micro-wolf — unexpectantly lunges from a tub inches from one’s body.

So, dear readers, please chime in.

If a butch screams at 6:00 a.m. in a bathroom while dodging a giant mouse and no one hears but her femme, is she any less a butch?

What’s the most unbutch thing you’ve done recently?

8 responses to “Middle-age butch screams like a little girl

  1. I have a brother-in-law who shrieks shrilly and runs away in the most girlish way I’ve ever seen (and he doesn’t normally have a feminine bone in his body) whenever he sees any type of insect (though spiders are his particular nemeses) indoors. It’s hysterical.

    I’m not a big fan of rodents my own self.

  2. Hmmm… screaming like a girl at bugs, spiders, or other forms of nature is definitely a pet peeve of mine. I’ve worked really hard to teach my daughter to be strong in the face of crawly things. It just seems too “unbutch” as you say… to scream.

    That said, I really respect your determination to free the mouse. And I probably would have leapt on the toilet seat. Might have screamed, too. It’s very likely… just the surprise of it. The most unbutch thing I’ve done recently is watch my dog catch a mole in the yard and, instead of attempting to help free the mole, standing back and taking pics with my iphone. I felt really bad about that. But… ewww. We all have our limitations.

    • We are an animal friendly house. We always try to rescue whatever critters find their way inside — mice, bats, bugs — and then set them free.

      My son even has rats that we consider pets and not rodents or pests or vermin.

      And, yes, I think it was the surprise of the whole event that elicited the scream. Which seems most unbutch, possibly even more unbutch than the scream itself. I like to think that part of being butch is keeping a calm and cold-as-ice external demeanor, even in the face of danger (and yes, that mouse could have carried rabies or severed a main artery with a single bite.)

  3. We all have our scream boundaries…butch or not. 🙂 Mine hates birds.

  4. The worst is my son – this six-foot-five hulk of a guy who refuses to go into a room if there is a spider in it. Everyone has their Kryptonite LOL.

  5. Pingback: Of mice and lesbians (a re-post) « The Flannel Files

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