Why the Millionaire Matchmaker would have outed me decades ago

I have a thing for the reality show Millionaire Matchmaker, which airs on Bravo.

Matchmaker Patti Stanger

Matchmaker Patti Stanger

The show features Patti Stanger, a third-generation matchmaker who sets up millionaires with potential matches.

I’m not sure why I like the show, but I do.

Part of the reason might be that I only watch shows that are on channels 58 (A&E) through 78 (OWN), with the exception of sporting events and channel 50 (FOOD).  Which really limits my viewing options.  No real reason.  I’m just weird, and cable television presents way too many choices for me.

Anyway, there was a  Millionaire Matchmaker marathon on today.  I had it on in the background while I did a kazillion loads of laundry and continued to pack up Christmas.

I’ve always wished that the show was around back in the day when I was dating guys and sporting long red fingernails.

I’ll never forget one episode of Millionaire Matchmaker in which Patti attempted to out a suspected lesbian who was auditioning for a potential date with a millionaire.

She asked if the woman typically liked “pretty boys.”

Whoa.  That rang a bell.  I always had a thing for “pretty boys.”  Well, at least until I admitted my attraction to pretty girls.

Today, Patti talked about how a masculine energy female attracts a feminine energy male.  My dating history makes so much sense now.

Without further ado, here are Middle-age butch’s biggest male crushes of all time:

PRINCE (number 1 of all time)

I always liked guys with really cheesy mustaches and good bone structure.

I always liked guys with really cheesy mustaches and good bone structure.

JON BON JOVI

I had this poster in my dorm room.  Such nice long hair and pretty clothes.

I had this poster in my dorm room. Such nice long hair, pretty clothes and sexy eyeliner.

STEVEN TYLER

Dude looks like a lady.

Dude looks like a lady.

JOHNNY DEPP

Perhaps the prettiest of them all.

Perhaps the prettiest of them all.

Anyone else care to share?

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19 responses to “Why the Millionaire Matchmaker would have outed me decades ago

  1. Yes definitely. Guy I made out with in band camp – also gay LOL.

  2. I liked David Cassidy and Leif Garrett. 😉

  3. Oh my god, I practically had a shrine to Jon BonJovi in my bedroom! And I was totally in love with Joey Tempest (lead singer of Europe) who was super girly – more feminine than many chicks. And I liked Per Gessle from Roxette – another feminine dude with loads of makeup. Funny stuff!!

  4. Love this show! Interesting that masculine energy female attracts a feminine energy male. I like The Rock and Colin Farrell. What does that make me LOL?

    • Yeah, we all know which team you’re batting for.

      Although I used to like The Rock when he wrestled as Rocky Maivia back in the day.

      Not your kind of LIKE, though.

      Anyway, it’s all good.

  5. Every guy I dated looked like a girl. Remember the Nelson twins? They may have actually been female, come to think of it…

  6. Pingback: My Cats Would Never Last In the Arctic « TheFurFiles

  7. I did always have a huge crush on Johnny…hmmm…

  8. partlycloudypessimist

    Johnny Depp, particularly in the Pirates series. I loved the eyeliner. And Adam Lambert, he has quite the beautiful face.

  9. I still find Jude Law very attractive. And for some reason, and it makes NO SENSE, I think Tim Roth is hot. No clue on that.

    • Hmm, Jude Law. He’s a pretty boy. And, a fine actor, too. We saw him in Side Effects, and I couldn’t stop looking at him and his beautiful clothes. It was like he was carved out of stone by a fine artisan. Catherine Zeta-Jones had a totally different effect on me though. Tim Roth? That is perplexing. Maybe it’s the films that he picks.

      • Even in “The Talented Mr. Ripley,” I couldn’t stop thinking about how hot he was; although that character was a perplexing ass. No, Tim Roth makes no sense. I mean he is usually a creeper. You can take Catherine… I just can’t do dark girls 😉

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