With the holidays fast approaching, my posts have been infrequent at best. So, I thought I would offer a brief update on the latest in my flannel-filled world. C’mon, you know you’re dying to know what’s been going on with Murray the kitten and that letting go thing.
- I called my best friend the other day and told her once again how I wanted to fill all of my holes with cats. She laughed hysterically. “That’s quite a picture,” she said. “When I say holes, I mean heart-wrenching emptiness and aloneness,” I replied. My friends are assholes.
- I have not found Murray the Christmas kitten. Yet. Truth be told, I haven’t been looking very hard. I’m a big believer in that whole if-it’s-meant-to-be line of thinking. I know that when the right kitten needs a home, she’ll find us. I don’t want to just go and pick out the first available kitten that I see. Oh, yeah, I guess that one will do. I did that with my first girlfriend and that ended horribly.
- W told me that it would be totally ok if I got a kitten. Which I appreciate immensely. I know she would be ok with me getting pretty much anything — like a boa constrictor or a Russian orphan girl — if she thought it would make me happy.
- I’ve been thinking that maybe we should foster kittens instead of just adopting a single cat. I imagine fostering to be like a constant conveyor belt of cute cuddly kittens. They’re so fluffy!
- I went to therapy last week and pretty much all my therapist said was “I hear you.” That’s all that you’ve got? I hear you? It was pathetic. I mean, how screwed up are you when there’s nothing left for a licensed professional to do other than listen? No advice? No how could you have handled that differently? No what’s the story you’re telling yourself? No how does that make you feel? It was like having a therapy session with Mr. Potato Head if he was only wearing his ears.
- I’ve been working on the whole letting go thing. I find that some things are much easier to let go of than others. I feel like I need a letting go mantra. Yeah, that’s what’s holding me back. A kick-ass mantra. Letting go, letting go, letting go … I’m letting go. That’s what I’ve been using so far.
- A gourmet cupcake shop just opened up down the street from us. I frequented the shop twice last week to buy cupcakes for two celebrations. I became agitated (read: obsessed and stalkerish) after I learned that the shop sells a cupcake that takes a shot at my collegiate alma mater. Turns out cupcake shop owner attended a rival school. I told W that I want to open up a competing cupcake shop in the empty storefront next door. I have crafted a diabolical plan of vengeance in which I run the new cupcake store owner out of town and insult her university using animal eyeballs purchased over the Internet. W tells me that I’m ruining the new cupcake shop for her.
I WAS wondering what was going on in your flannel world and I had everything pegged except the eyeball cupcake. Didn’t see that one coming. Thanks for the hilarious update. It was fun to read first thing after coming home.
Glad I could amuse. That’s the whole point … no one will ever see the eyeball cupcake coming.
I’d buy at least a dozen eyeball cupcakes
See. That’s what I’m talking about.