This lesbian needs a fresh coat of paint

I’m feeling a little bit better today.

It’s 10:40, and I’m up and showered and dressed.  In sweatpants but they still count as clothes.

I’ve decided to start my day in a positive way.  I’m having a whole wheat English muffin with organic, no-sugar peanut butter and bananas and a low-fat yogurt.

Combos, snack food and entertainment

However, I’m craving chemical food like Pop-Tarts because they’re crazy good and Combos.  The pretzel Combos filled with fake cheddar cheese because I like to split them open longwise in my mouth and scoop out the neon orange cheese with my tongue.  So, Combos are actually a food and a hobby.  And coffee.  I want coffee.  I don’t even like coffee, but I want the central nervous system stimulant contained within.  I am a junk food junkie.

I’m going to start prepping and painting our downstairs bathroom after I finish this blog post.

We have two bathrooms that need painting.  We only have two bathrooms, so in case you were thinking that we live in a mansion with 32 bathrooms and only 1/16th of them need sprucing up, don’t.  One hundred percent of our bathrooms need work.

The upstairs bathroom needs a lot of prep work.  There’s mold that needs to be removed and peeling paint that has to be scraped and sanded.  I might need to replace some wood paneling.  The whole room needs scrubbed down.

Which is precisely why I’m starting with the downstairs bathroom.  I can knock the whole thing out in a couple of hours.  It just needs a quick wipe down and a fresh coat of paint.

This guy might have owned our house

When we moved into the house, the previous owner had painted every room mustard yellow.  At first, I thought he might be a descendant of Colonel Mustard with an affinity for the color mustard.  And candlesticks and neatly secured sections of rope, of course.  Or maybe an heir to the French’s mustard fortune.  “I just love the color mustard,” he would go around exclaiming.

We later discovered that the owner was just plain cheap and had gotten several drums of mustard colored paint on clearance at Home Depot.

There’s something so redemptive and renewing about a fresh coat of paint.  It can change a room completely.

Some days I wish I could paint myself from head to toe for a fresh start.  But, of course, leaving a little patch blank to prevent skin suffocation and impending death like that chick in Goldfinger.

Right now, I’d opt for a flat gray to go with my mood, so I should probably hold off on that.

Maybe a canary yellow when I’m feeling up to it or a calming sky blue.

For some reason, I think any personal rejuvenation is going to take more than fresh paint.  There’s some peeling and stripping and patching and toxin removal that needs to be completed before this butch slaps on a cosmetic coat of fresh paint.

Pussy Galore from Goldfinger. Just because.

12 responses to “This lesbian needs a fresh coat of paint

  1. A whole house painted mustard yellow – wow! Have fun painting over that. It will change everything. And I love Pussy Galore. Sexy. 😉

  2. I’m surprised you bought a house completely painted in mustard yellow. What a riot! I love the reference to Clue – that brings back memories. Enjoy the new colors!

    • Well, we bought the house despite the paint color not because of it. I am happy to report that only a few rooms remain yellow. Am loving the nice green that we picked out for the bathrooms.

  3. Awesomeness.

  4. Storm M. Silvermane

    Is this contagious. I have been feeling the same way, maybe because I have been sick. I am not sure, but in 30 minutes I have to pick up our daughter from her bus stop and go to the little store for a couple of things and I have been dreading it for the past hour. Maybe I need a new coat of paint as well.

    • Maybe it’s the time of year. Painting and making some home improvements has seemed to have pulled me out of my doldrums.

      • Storm M. Silvermane

        I actually would love to do some of that. We are moving though and it looks like we might be moving into our own house finally so we will be able to make any changes we want (yay) in the mean time I am helping a friend get the house and yard he inherited from his mother all in order. I have to rebuild, sand down and repaint a lot of iron/wood benches that go through his vast maze like yard. I actually enjoyed myself yesterday.

      • Sometimes physical labor can be therapeutic. I like to lose myself in work like that, whether it’s painting a room or mowing the grass. It’s finding the time that seems to be the challenge.

  5. How did they get away with that Family Values-unfriendly name in the Repressed 60s? I’ve always been curious about that.
    And you’re right: PussyGalore rocks.

    • Pussy Galore was a character in the Fleming book. The producers had thought about changing the name to “Kitty Galore” in the film but somehow the censors allowed “Pussy Galore.” Pussy was actually a lesbian cat burglar in the book.

  6. Pingback: This old house and this old lesbian (Part II) « The Flannel Files

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