In honor of National Coming Out Day, I thought I’d share a few highlights from my own coming out.
I’ve touched on the subject in this post.
But I thought I’d offer these random tidbits:
* Our local Blockbuster clerk was the first person that I came out to. I didn’t exactly say, “Hey, buddy, raging lesbian here. I’ll need a copy of Show Me Love, Ellen’s latest stand-up special and The L Word Season 2.”
I was much more subtle. Renting every lesbian movie that Blockbuster had using some list that I procured from the Internet. Go Fish, check. When Night Is Falling, check. But I’m a Cheerleader, check. Strictly for research purposes, of course. See all of my favorite lesbian movies here.
* I saw Kissing Jessica Stein days before I came out, which is probably why that movie holds a special place in my heart. That and Jennifer Westfeldt is super cute. I can remember watching the movie and feeling like Jessica, Helen and I were learning the ropes of lesbianism together.
* My best friend was the first person who I told that I was a lesbian. I informed her at the tail end of a phone conversation. Five minutes later, she called back.
Friend: I have a question.
Friend: Were you ever attracted to me?
Because this is what straight girls want to know when you reveal that you’re a lesbian. Did you ever want to fuck me?
* I came out to the bulk of my friends and family in a Christmas letter. Son turned 5 this year and built the Millennium Falcon out of Legos, and oh, by the way, I’m gay. This is why you should always read every word of those holiday form letters.
* “I’m gay.” It’s two words. They are the hardest words that I ever had to say to my parents.
I love this quote from Kurt Vonnegut. “If you want to really hurt you parents, and you don’t have the nerve to be gay, the least you can do is go into the arts.” I did both.
* My mother had suggested that I stay in the closet until my son turned 16. He was almost 4 years old when I came out. Because that would have been so great for his development.
“Son, you know that I like softball. Well, your mom really, really, really likes softball,” I imagine myself saying.
* * *
If you’re already out, fist bump. If not, know that it does get better and easier. It’s certainly a step that you should take when you’re completely ready and not a minute sooner.
Until then, maybe rent some gay or lesbian movies on Netflix. Tell them middle age butch sent you.
Any coming out tales you’d like to share?