First dates and first anniversaries

W and I celebrated the first anniversary of our commitment ceremony today.

Our six-year relationship has been fairly consistent from the get-go.  Pretty solid and steadfast with very little drama, which sometimes makes me forget that we’re lesbians.

I’ve been thinking back to our first date.

W and I met online and arranged to meet at a local Borders bookstore and then grab some dinner.

I arrived way ahead of time.  That’s what I do.  I am neurotic and anxious and operate by different time rules than the rest of the world.  It’s like Middle Age Butch’s Excellent Adventure without the phone booth. Or, 12 Monkeys and a Lesbian.

My usual rule of thumb is to arrive ten minutes early for routine appointments like teeth cleanings and parent-teacher meetings.  I allot 20 minutes for outpatient procedures and job interviews.  A first date warrants an arrival 30 minutes in advance of the scheduled meeting time.

The extra time allowed me to stake out a strategic spot in the bookstore.  I wanted to be able to see W when she walked in the door and have her see me.  I didn’t want to have to search her out or have her sneak up on me.  Why I was preparing for an ambush of sorts is beyond me as this was just a first date and not a drug deal or Little Bighorn.

I tried out a spot near the front door right by the bargain books.  This made me look cheap and anxious.  W would learn soon enough that I possess these qualities.  But this was way too soon.

Next, I tried out the benches in the fiction section.  I sat facing the O’s for Joyce Carol Oates.  Too pretentious.  Then the B’s for Rita Mae Brown.  Too obvious.  The S’s for David Sedaris?  Too dark.

I moved to the magazine rack.  It had a great view of the front door but wasn’t too obvious.  And, I could rest one Doc Marten on the bottom part of the rack and look casual.

Now to find just the right magazine to leaf through.  Curve.  Too cliché.  Maxim?  Too distracting.  I needed to pay attention to the front door while looking like I wasn’t paying attention to the front door.  A magazine filled with breasts wouldn’t help me do that.  Muscle and Fitness?  Too manly.  Cosmo?  Too girly.

I ended up “reading” some French book review magazine that had an article critiquing Stephen King’s latest work.  Look, I’m sophisticated and smart, this choice said, but not pretentious.  Yes, I am reading in le francais.  But, King is very accessible.  I mean what’s more down to earth than cannibalism and burying people alive?

So, I planted myself at the magazine rack and waited.  And, waited.  Glancing at the front door every 30 seconds or so.  So very casually.  Oh, who, me?  I was just reading le critique.

Finally, W came through the front door.  The first thing I remember seeing was her smile.  Or, maybe it was her big brown eyes and the way they reflected the light.  Or, how time stood still when she entered the store.  For just a second.

She didn’t even ask what I was reading.

I think of the voice-over to the lesbian classic Go Fish:

Don’t fear too many things, it’s dangerous.
Don’t say so much, you’ll ruin everything.
Don’t worry yourself into a corner; and just don’t think about it so much.
The girl you’re gonna meet doesn’t look like anyone you know.  And when you meet her, your toes might tingle or might suppress a yawn.  It’s hard to say.
Don’t box yourself in; don’t leave yourself wide open.
Don’t think about it every second but just don’t let yourself forget.  The girl is out there.

My grandmother always said there’s a lid to every pot.

I’m not sure who’s the pot and who’s the lid in our relationship.  I have an abnormally small head (think Beaker), so I might be the pot.

Anyway, I found “the girl” that night and I haven’t let go since.

13 responses to “First dates and first anniversaries

  1. Loved it! Especially the “le critique” part. I am French, after all. I also like that you have a small head like Beaker. He was my favourite muppet.

  2. Awww love that sweet story. My partner and I have very little drama, too. If we do have issues that come up, I love how we can talk about them and work them out in a respectful way. So different from my marriage.

  3. Wonderful story…I think the older we get the more and more overrated drama is. So glad you found “the girl” and that you haven’t let go since. Makes me think of a song my very dear “friend” turned me on to by singer Nancy Scott called “The Fish Song”…very sweet.…paste this url to get to the video if you’re interested in the song

  4. I found this hilarioius becasue it took me right back to my 2nd date, 1st daylight hour date, with my partner of almost 10 years. Obviously, you gave your encounter much more thought than I did because I just sat down in the cafe area and started reading my book, The Republic of Plato.

  5. I gotta tell you I saw your post on the freshly pressed section and then read every post from the beginning till now. I would continue but its now 3am >.<
    Your posts are great! And funny! More to read tomorrow 🙂 I just started a blog on here and reading the funny stuff you write made me decide to post an old story about my sister.

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