Why I have a crush on Dr. Robin Zasio from Hoarders

Dr. Robin Zasio

Tonight, W and I will be huddled around our TV watching the season premiere of A&E’s Hoarders.

Hoarders is a TV favorite of mine.

I started out with Clean House a few years back and soon moved up to the more heavy hitting Hoarders.  It’s like starting out drinking Bartles & Jaymes wine coolers and transitioning to Mad Dog 20/20 straight from the bottle.  Hoarders is Clean House on crack.  Sorry, Niecy Nash.

I find it inspiring watching real-life people turn their lives around.  If someone can clean up a doublewide loaded down with used Depends and petrified rat droppings in three days, why can’t I lose 30 pounds or write a short story or clean out my car?

Plus, it’s absolutely fascinating to see how some kind of trauma — a fire, a death, abuse — can cause someone to start collecting things like Chihuahuas or troll dolls.  The human brain is a strange place.

I also like Hoarders because the show features Dr. Robin Zasio, who is an angel of sorts much like Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman.

Every episode of Hoarders features two hoarding situations.  There’s always the basic hoarder, or level A hoarder, who maintains a house that is over-cluttered with run-of-the-mill things like paperwork, books, dishes, clothing.  These are incompetent hoarders who really aren’t all that great at hoarding.

At the other end of the spectrum are the hardcore hoarders, or level F hoarders.

(Note: This is my personal gradient hoarding scale based on U.S. bra cup sizes.  Small cup = small hoarding problem.  Larger cup = larger hoarding problem.  Scale can be adapted for almost every situation involving degrees or levels.)

Anyway, the hardcore hoarder might collect his own urine in Mountain Dew bottles or kitten carcasses or orphans from Vietnam.  Extreme hoarders typically have homes crawling with insects and rodents and riddled with toxic mold and bacteria.  Feces — fresh or petrified — is always involved in some capacity. You usually have to enter their residences by crawling through some type of primitive Chunnel system that might have been dug out by pet prairie dogs or Cambodian tunneling monkeys. These hoarders often face dire situations such as homelessness, institutionalization, illness.

Enter Dr. Robin Zasio.

Dr. Zasio tells viewers she specializes in “extreme” hoarding cases

In her voice over, Dr. Zasio informs the viewer that she is an expert in extreme hoarding.

The basic hoarders — or ineffectual hoarders — are assigned experts who are “extreme cleaners” or “professional organizers.”

Not so in extreme cases.  A&E calls on Dr. Zasio when a hoarder’s very life is at stake.

Dr. Zasio is just like the Avengers, but there is only one of her.

I find myself instantly calmed when Dr. Zasio appears on the screen.  She is gentle and soothing in voice and manner.  She can walk into a home filled with overflowing buckets of cow semen and vampire blood and not be phased.  “What do we have going on over here, Chester?” she might ask.

Certainly, Dr. Zasio with her long blonde locks and broad smile is easy on the eyes.  Not really my type though, as I prefer a fuller-figured woman with darker hair.  But I’m certain Dr. Zasio has a pleasant bedside manner.  And, I have to admit that the thought of sleeping with a psychologist is a bit thrilling.  You get free therapy.  Sweet.  And, she would be specially trained to use reverse psychology in bed.  Which is kind of hot.  “You don’t want me to do what?”

W thinks I am obsessed with Dr. Zasio because I find her comforting.  She knows that every little thing stresses me out, like when the kids leave wrappers on the floor in the TV room or the cat poops outside the litter box or I have to fold fitted sheets.

Mostly, I love Dr. Zasio because she is nonjudgmental.  She doesn’t think less of people because they use empty oatmeal cylinders for toilets or store dead cats in a freezer.

I don’t think Dr. Zasio would care that I need to lose a few pounds, dust the house or paint the front porch.  She wouldn’t laugh if I told her that I started a diet this morning but ate a box of Suzy Qs at 10 a.m. or that I have a fear of produce stands and people on stilts.

The world could use a whole lot more of Dr. Robin Zasio, if you ask me.

If you think about it, we’re really all just one tragedy away from hoarding our urine in two-liter plastic soda bottles.

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23 responses to “Why I have a crush on Dr. Robin Zasio from Hoarders

  1. I am watching Dr Robin right now and found this by Googling her name… loved this entry and decided to tweet this. 🙂

  2. Great write. Very entertaining.

  3. The email that said you liked my post on messiness said I should read this. And I’m glad I did. Very funny. Maybe I will have to watch this show. My level of untidiness does not reach these levels, thank heavens. Okay, back to write!!

  4. Loved your blog…you are so ‘right on’ and very entertaining. And now I ‘out’ about my own crush on Doc Zas!

  5. I like watching Hoarders too. It makes me look at my own messy house and think, “This is manageable,” and then I clean. And yes, Dr. Zasio seems so nice.

  6. LMAO, using a level system out of bra size, the levels of hoarding…great comedic tone and timing! Laughing Coyote give you a thumbs up! Yeah, I know..trite compliment but very sincere. I used up my imagination yesterday and have to recharge

  7. I laughed picturing this lady I just found out about asking Chester about his home. Thanks for this!

  8. I love the show too
    and I love Zasio

  9. I read parts of this aloud over our post-dinner wine tonight. What a gem of a post.

  10. I have a thing for Robert Irvine for the same reasons.

  11. I enjoyed reading this. Great post! Only saw the show a few times but appreciate the nonjudgmental aspect. If only we all could be that way. Dr. Zasio for POTUS. Haha.

  12. Great post! I wish I had known about Dr Zazio when I lived an hour from Sacramento…I’m sure I could have need therapy for ‘something’!

  13. I love her for the same reason- she’s so non-judgemental and she doesn’t get outwardly fristrated with people. They have other psychologists on the show who start out nice, but they get judgemental within minutes and get frustrated very easily when things aren’t going well. I love Dr. Zasio because she has such a calming demeanor, seems to really care about these people she’s trying to help, has tons of patience, and doesn’t judge.

  14. I loved reading this and I totally agree with you, especially your comparison with Dr Quinn! Brilliant.

    Dr Zasio is awesome, I watch Hoarders mainly for her (and so I feel like a domestic Goddess). She is calming and kind but with a lovely quiet strength about her and unlike some of the others on the show she seems very genuine.

    She totally needs to come to England for a Hoarders UK series. I’ll start collecting!

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