Hey mister, I’m a sister

There’s a new casino that just opened up by our house.  When Groupon offered an overnight stay, a $50 dining credit and a $50 slot credit all for $99, I decided to take W away one Saturday this fall.

I am cheap.

I called the hotel to make the reservation.

Hotel guy: Casino resort.  How can I help you?

Me: I’d like to make a reservation.

Hotel guy: For the Radisson or the Tower?

Me: The Tower.

Hotel guy: Have you stayed with us before?

Me: No.

Hotel guy: Can I have your name?

Me: Ryan Thomas.  (This is not my real name.  This is a fictitious name used for illustrative purposes only.  However, my real name is similar to this example as my first name is a standard first name for a man as is my last name.)

Hotel guy: Mr. Thomas, are you with a group or is this part of a promotion?

The Mr. thing catches me off guard, even though this is the billionth time that this has happened.

Me: Yes, I have a Groupon.  (I deepen my voice to sound like, like, like … Thurston Howell III. This is me thinking on my feet.  Dammit!  I could have gone with Chuck Norris, or William Shatner or even Ronnie from Jersey Shore for crying out loud.  But Jim Fucking Backus?  Mr. Magoo?)

Hotel guy: I’m sorry Mr. Thomas.  You’ll have to call back between the hours of 8:00 and 4:30 to reserve a room for that promotion.

Me: I see.  (I want to add “my good man” but don’t.  I imagine myself wearing a captain’s hat and an ascot.  I feel stupid.  Like I’m talking into a coconut shell attached to a string instead of a cellphone.)

Hotel guy: Is there anything else that I can help you with Mr. Thomas?

Me: No, that’s all.  Thank you for your help, sir.  (Still channeling Mr. Howell.  And, wondering why Lady Gaga’s alter ego is Jo Calderone and Nicki Minaj’s alter-ego is Roman Zolanski and mine is Thurston Howell III, which is so much more than 50 shades less cool.)

So, yes, I’d rather usurp the voice of a 1960s TV sitcom character — and a pretty lame one at that — rather than correct the hotel guy.  What does this say about me?  That I watched way too much TV as a kid for one thing.

Also, I don’t like to make people feel uncomfortable because that makes me uncomfortable.

I call back the next day and reserve a room for October.  The receptionist calls me Ms. Thomas.

I hang up the phone.  I am looking forward to this night out even though it’s two months away.  I am so glad that I don’t have to show up wearing a yachting hat or a navy blazer with gold buttons.

Talk about uncomfortable.

Has anyone ever mistaken your gender?  Were you embarrassed or did you just laugh it off?

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2 responses to “Hey mister, I’m a sister

  1. Before I transitioned, I sang “thank you” to a bus driver once, and he said “Bye, Love” then “er, mate” when he saw how I was dressed. I walked off floating on air.

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